DISSECTING RELATIONS AND WOW
Curiosity, fear, doubt, hesitation, joy of doing something forbidden are some of the many strange feelings associated with dissection of human bodies. That still remains a unique experience as a medical student.
can you believe a human dissection hall in a guest house? this was because when we entered the college the main college building was under final phase of construction. our dissection hall was on the top floor of old three storied building actually made to be a guest house.
on one end of our beautiful campus, there were hostels, mess and the new college building, the other end about 3kms away, had staff quarters and a guest house converted in our temporary college.
since my sister neha studied MBBS in MP shah medical college jamnagar, i had some idea of the dissection hall. still, i never had seen it with my own eyes. we were taken to dissection hall on our first anatomy day. as soon as we entered the hall,I remember one of my batch mate fell down! immediately he was taken care of by our instructors. The hall was emanating a typical smell of carcasses and formalin. Some of the bodies were covered with white clothes while others were open for work. The skin had lost the natural color and looked blackish brown. The faces of the bodies looked horrible at first sight.
All human machinery was intact with help of formalin but no activity, no thoughts, no feelings. such sight naturally would trigger chain of thoughts. the first thing which came to mind was We all would be like these bodies one day… and no one was an exception. the bodies were silent but what they might have thought at the time of their death? what experience they would have undergone which we still are to face? scary? horrible? or just like deep sleep after painful bodily suffering? How they might have decided about their own body’s donation leaving all the religious beliefs like moksha, heaven, hell and especially avgat(soul not resting in peace after death) in absence of religious rituals after death? what about their near and dear ones? what would they feel if they see their loved one's half cut body in our hall?
the instructor guided our batch in the hall.the hall was damn big.we were told to keep silence. the batch was further divided in small groups of about 5-6 students. we were allotted different tables for dissection of human body.
on our table, there was a body covered with white cloth like all others. it looked something scary under the cloth. suppose if we removed the cloth and the the body waked up? an irrational thought! but i tell you , humans are basically irrational and first thought they have for any new experience is usually deep from their minds without a drop of rationale! our brain starts working after getting irrational jolts from naked mind!
after listening to to instructor one of my batch mate removed the cloth gracefully. ouch! the horrifying body was of a female about 50-60 yrs old. her eyes were closed and her face looked in deep sleep. the skin was dark because of effect of the preservatives.
the first day was just for the orientation purpose.we were to start our dissection from the parts of upper limb. we were told about our instruments to be used for dissection like scalpel, bone cutter, toothed and tissue forceps etc.
the hall was big and there were about 6-8 tables for dissection. on each table, there was a dead body. as i looked around, There was one big tank at the terrace. That was the store, i mean, store for dead bodies!with a bit of fear, i went near it just to have a look. it was partially covered. still i could peek in that scary tank. damn it! The sight was not less than any Hollywood horror film.i saw All the bodies in that store tank were immersed in the preservative chemical. Lifeless, dumped on one another like wood. Their hairs were floating in the chemical and the eyes were staring beyond life. can you imagine your own body in such situation?
We were told that all the bodies were donated. The people donated their bodies for noble cause to help medical students to study human machine and use their knowledge for humanity.
.
The workers handling the dead bodies under the guidance of the tutors and prof.s were completely indifferent for the bodies as it was their daily work. They were moving the dead bodies like any other inanimate object.
“Do you have bone set?” a dead body like looking man asked when i was just looking around. Apart from doing dissection of the human bodies we had to study the skeletal structure. For that we had to have a whole real human skeletal set. The man who asked the question was a pune in deptt of anatomy running bone business along with. “come to me after the class.I have a few sets. You can select one” his name was Josef probably.
We went for selection of the set and I chose one fine sturdy bone set for me. Since the skull had to be studied from inside also, the seller cut the skull vault for student’s benefit. It was around 1500 Rs. At that time As I remember.
Back at the dissection hall, we had dr rakesh Gandhi, dr gedia and one more lady tutor her name was probably mrs dalwadiya and she used to pronounce “budi” in place of “body” while teaching.
Dr. Gandhi was finest possible tutor. He not only had good knowledge of the subject but was also very much empathetic for the students. Dr. Gandhi was a good dissector and used to show us difficult parts.
For students from gujarati medium the questions were many. How anterior is different than ventral? Why dorsal is not posterior? Why anterior remained anterior and posterior remained posterior even after turning the body on the abdomen? How could “cephalic” be pronounced? Some teachers were pronouncing as “sefelic” while others “kephalic”! Why anatomical position for penis is erect even if it is not the usual position?
We felt the Gujarat secondary board should have taught us human body in spite of frog if they really wished to help us study medicine or biology. I felt they should have been shown at least one volume of our dissection manual by Cunningham, if not textbook of anatomy- gray.
The dissection manual had amazing pictures of human structures. We were supposed to dissect and see those structures. Our batch was to start with the dissection of human upper limb. The batch further was divided in group of 5 to 6 students. We had to perform the dissection at each session till a given point.
The feel of the dead skin was quite hard than expected. It required good amount of force to cut it open. There was no bleeding as blood was replaced with formalin, a very sticky chemical. We had to rub our hands very hard in attempt to get its smell off the hands before going for lunch or dinner.
I really still do not understand why we were not allowed to wear gloves while performing dissection. In fact, as our seniors told their experience, our professors would get angry if they saw any one using gloves in the dissection hall.
when i was in bhuj, some of my friends had a few queries.
-how can you take food immediately after a session of dissection of human body? Do not you feel ugly?
-are all the structure inside same for all the bodies?
-how human brain looks?
While others had irrational but real fears
-do you see any ghosts near your anatomy deptt?
-do the dead bodies come in your dreams to warn you?
-how can you sleep keeping human skull near your bed?
-do the professors perform any yagna or hanuman chalisa to keep ghosts away from them? In their opinion - They must be- might be doing that secretly.
Some were curious for other reasons.
-do they give you naked bodies? Even of females?
-do the girls and boys dissect such bodies in one group? Even the private parts?
-do you really discuss such parts with the girls? Do not they feel awkward?
There was one popular story connecting ragging and dissection told by my friends at bhuj-
When juniors join the college, the seniors, for ragging, would ask them to go to the dissection hall at night along with seniors. While seniors would stay outside, the junior would be forced to go inside the hall to put lollypop in mouth of each of the dead bodies. The junior, frightened but finding no other way would do the dreadful job. He would plant the lollypop one by one. After placing the last, he would try to dart out the hall but the last dead body being one of the mischievous senior, sit up and speak “oh, very nice lollypop! May I get another one??”
Back In the hall the scenes were very different. Almost all the students got comfortable with the dissection within a week or so. All the feelings attached with the dead bodies gradually perished as we got deeper in the technicalities and as it became a daily routine job. you forget what you did just 10 min back when you are hungry and when that becomes your routine. i do not remember any one from our batch not eating or vomiting after lunch.
none of our professors or tutors or even the seniors told any superstitious stories about the dissection.
since there was no distinction between girls and boys, The hall was a good place to interact with all.naturally the human bodies were given naked for dissection.but when you are burdened with so much of academic technicality, you hardly can think anything else than to complete your work on the body. it was natural to dissect and discuss all parts amongst boys and girls. thus the interaction of boys and girls was very close and so The process of “coupling” started right from the hall for many of the successful couples of our batch. For example, sameer – margee from our table.
Some of the students, especially boys, learned the job of finely dissecting the anatomical structures quite well and used it to impress the girl members of the team.We were free to go to any table to see the dissected structures.sometimes even our tutors used to ask us to go to a particular table to see a finely dissected structure there.
“Now I can show you greater and lesser sac! Come this side please!” and the girl would go to his side to all his pleasure to study the part! Not only that, she would screech “my goodness! How beautiful!” her words would attract more honey bees to his advantage from other groups also.
Some of the boys were real boys.
“Guys, what I do you know?” one of my friends said revealing his secret “I do not waste time in digging up the deep structures” he smiled and looked into our eyes as if he was to reveal ultimate knowledge on the earth. “I go to any pretty girl’s table and request her to show the deepest structure dissected. She would bend down to show it….. And what you see…! WOW!”
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
ANTIBODY
(For the first time, i have written this chapter with change of names of the real charechters. i have great respect for the student "antibody" and even if i do not know his whereabouts today, i wish him all the best for his life. I have no intention to hurt him. rather,i wish to show how selfrespectful and couragous he was. my sincere regards to him.it is my humble request to him to contact me if by chance he reads my blog. i have searched all possible internet tools to find him. -NEH)
ANTIBODY
It was one of the starting lectures from prof harsoda. On that fine morning, in his usual style, keeping both his hands in the pockets of the jacket he asked “what izz antibodyz?”
Silence.
I wanted to reply something as usual but I did not know as to how to speak the definition in exact words.
“Sir” a lean thin boy with spects raised his hand
“yess?”
“Sir…it is a body against a body which enters our body…. that is antibody”
“What?” a bit confused with the answer “can you pleaz repeat it?” prof inquired further
“sir, sir….body against a body, I mean, a body produced against a foreign body that enters a human body…”he spoke taking maximum possible help of his stick thin hands and fingers for explaining what he actually meant.
“So? etle means ke bodyz against bodyz?” prof was still not convinced .”Is that antibody?” repeatation of the word body kindled his brain- he smiled.
And the class busted to laugh. The boy was happy about the answer he gave and nodded his head as yes.
“Yes…antibodyz are part of our immune systimz” and he went on teaching the topic, but that thin boy earned the label - “anti body”
He was from mihir’s school and also was his room partner at the hostel. When it was simply difficult for other students to read a few paragraphs of the textbook of physiology by gyton, he had capacity to read whole of the tightly packed chapter of it! He was air thin boy. He had nascent thin mustache that made him look like a 9th class student than a college boy.
“you know, he comes from a troubled family” said mihir “they had a lot of money and good business but their business partner cheated them and now the money is a big trouble for them…I know how hard his father works for meeting the medical college expenses”
mihir had unique relationship with him. mihir used to tease him a lot in the class and in the hostel..
“akaash…!akaash….!!”You could find mihir shouting any time behind him. Every week mihir used to find some new nick name for him! But simultaneously he used to care a lot for him. To tease was largely right of only mihir and any one else trying to do that had to face mihir’s forceful opposition. akash had atypical speech and atypical gestures while speaking and expressing. Thus some students made fun of him sometimes. This, probably, never was affecting akash as he mostly laughed with the others.
He used to score nice marks even in difficult vivas. He never was telling his difficulties back at home to others. Neither had he any complaint regarding his economical status nor had he ever showed interest in costly hobbies like movies, hotels, spending after girls.
Years passed by…he remained antibody for all who knew him.
One day he left hostel. Swaminarayan mandir at karamsad was providing cheaper or probably free accommodation for him.
Some one said he was happy there.
But mihir told us how miserable his life had become.
“You know, akash’s condition has gone worst.” Explained mihir “he does not have enough money to buy even food sometimes...you know, what he does at such bad times? He would sit in front of statue of bhagwan swaminarayan just below his hostel room and would continue to pray till he falls asleep.”
“We ought to help him whichever way it is possible” some of the friends suggested. We all went to him.
“We are here to do something” we told him. He smiled as usual “we want to help you economically. We all will contribute something per month for you .at least that would be of some use to you…”
“Nope!” his answer was clear “I appreciate your feelings but I do not want any help”
“Please consider…. This would not be a burden to us. It is our humble request as old friends.” But he was very firm. “We beg you akash, please do not feel any obligation. You may return the money when you start earning. We promise you. We will take the money back.”
No way… We had to come back .he did not accept any help.
Unfortunately after a few days we heard akash developed obsessive compulsive neurosis. He would take hours to brush his teeth. He would soil whole of the fore arm with the tooth paste. He would similarly take hours for bath. His academic performance steeply declined. He started failing in exams.
He was sometimes seen in the corners of the college building staring to ceiling vacant with some textbook in his lap. Sometimes it looked as if he was praying keeping his eyes closed. Many times he was uttering some words to himself. Now he did not have any friend by his side. When he met any of us, he would greet and smile, probably, would speak a few words and again would get lost in his own world. His pain was really beyond anyone’s imagination.
He could not clear final MBBS at first attempt. I do not know how many attempts he took to clear MBBS finally.
After a few years when I as passing by the deptt of skin I saw him sitting in a corner and praying.
“hey akash! How are you? I am so happy to see you man!” I was over joyed.
“hi neh! I am fine and doing my internship. Nice to see you pal..” he was still the same boy. I asked about his health and his future plans. But he was unclear. That was the last meeting.
To this date, I do not know where he is and how he is but I wish him happiness wherever he lives. Despite all odds, his refusal to take any help from the friends was something only a man with true self respect and courage could do. My salutes to akash.
ANTIBODY
It was one of the starting lectures from prof harsoda. On that fine morning, in his usual style, keeping both his hands in the pockets of the jacket he asked “what izz antibodyz?”
Silence.
I wanted to reply something as usual but I did not know as to how to speak the definition in exact words.
“Sir” a lean thin boy with spects raised his hand
“yess?”
“Sir…it is a body against a body which enters our body…. that is antibody”
“What?” a bit confused with the answer “can you pleaz repeat it?” prof inquired further
“sir, sir….body against a body, I mean, a body produced against a foreign body that enters a human body…”he spoke taking maximum possible help of his stick thin hands and fingers for explaining what he actually meant.
“So? etle means ke bodyz against bodyz?” prof was still not convinced .”Is that antibody?” repeatation of the word body kindled his brain- he smiled.
And the class busted to laugh. The boy was happy about the answer he gave and nodded his head as yes.
“Yes…antibodyz are part of our immune systimz” and he went on teaching the topic, but that thin boy earned the label - “anti body”
He was from mihir’s school and also was his room partner at the hostel. When it was simply difficult for other students to read a few paragraphs of the textbook of physiology by gyton, he had capacity to read whole of the tightly packed chapter of it! He was air thin boy. He had nascent thin mustache that made him look like a 9th class student than a college boy.
“you know, he comes from a troubled family” said mihir “they had a lot of money and good business but their business partner cheated them and now the money is a big trouble for them…I know how hard his father works for meeting the medical college expenses”
mihir had unique relationship with him. mihir used to tease him a lot in the class and in the hostel..
“akaash…!akaash….!!”You could find mihir shouting any time behind him. Every week mihir used to find some new nick name for him! But simultaneously he used to care a lot for him. To tease was largely right of only mihir and any one else trying to do that had to face mihir’s forceful opposition. akash had atypical speech and atypical gestures while speaking and expressing. Thus some students made fun of him sometimes. This, probably, never was affecting akash as he mostly laughed with the others.
He used to score nice marks even in difficult vivas. He never was telling his difficulties back at home to others. Neither had he any complaint regarding his economical status nor had he ever showed interest in costly hobbies like movies, hotels, spending after girls.
Years passed by…he remained antibody for all who knew him.
One day he left hostel. Swaminarayan mandir at karamsad was providing cheaper or probably free accommodation for him.
Some one said he was happy there.
But mihir told us how miserable his life had become.
“You know, akash’s condition has gone worst.” Explained mihir “he does not have enough money to buy even food sometimes...you know, what he does at such bad times? He would sit in front of statue of bhagwan swaminarayan just below his hostel room and would continue to pray till he falls asleep.”
“We ought to help him whichever way it is possible” some of the friends suggested. We all went to him.
“We are here to do something” we told him. He smiled as usual “we want to help you economically. We all will contribute something per month for you .at least that would be of some use to you…”
“Nope!” his answer was clear “I appreciate your feelings but I do not want any help”
“Please consider…. This would not be a burden to us. It is our humble request as old friends.” But he was very firm. “We beg you akash, please do not feel any obligation. You may return the money when you start earning. We promise you. We will take the money back.”
No way… We had to come back .he did not accept any help.
Unfortunately after a few days we heard akash developed obsessive compulsive neurosis. He would take hours to brush his teeth. He would soil whole of the fore arm with the tooth paste. He would similarly take hours for bath. His academic performance steeply declined. He started failing in exams.
He was sometimes seen in the corners of the college building staring to ceiling vacant with some textbook in his lap. Sometimes it looked as if he was praying keeping his eyes closed. Many times he was uttering some words to himself. Now he did not have any friend by his side. When he met any of us, he would greet and smile, probably, would speak a few words and again would get lost in his own world. His pain was really beyond anyone’s imagination.
He could not clear final MBBS at first attempt. I do not know how many attempts he took to clear MBBS finally.
After a few years when I as passing by the deptt of skin I saw him sitting in a corner and praying.
“hey akash! How are you? I am so happy to see you man!” I was over joyed.
“hi neh! I am fine and doing my internship. Nice to see you pal..” he was still the same boy. I asked about his health and his future plans. But he was unclear. That was the last meeting.
To this date, I do not know where he is and how he is but I wish him happiness wherever he lives. Despite all odds, his refusal to take any help from the friends was something only a man with true self respect and courage could do. My salutes to akash.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
CHAPTER FOUR: RAGGED?
CHAPTER FOUR : RAGGED?
It was about 8 pm when we, I tapasvi and biren, were called by some seniors for introduction . the hostel looked normal from outside. We climbed the stairs to reach the room where we were summoned. No one amongst us was in mood to say anything.when you are expecting hell to fall on you from the blue surely you would be in no mood to discuss it. We completed our robotic walk within five minutes.
The room was closed. Some one opened it as soon as we reached.as we entered, We saw a group of seniors awaiting us eagerly. Some were sitting on the cot, some were standing and some were in their chairs. The crowd was ready for the circus-us! most of the seniors looked more like us in height body and no one was scary by looks.we stopped just a few steps near the door and the door was closed with a bang.we vacantly stood in front of all the senior boys in the room.
“hello boys!” we were greeted by their leader. we hated but said ‘good evening sir’ in salvos as was taught to us the whole day. Naturally we were not offered to seat. We stood in front of the crowd with flat expression.
“ hey are you all sick? Why cant you stand straight like men?” the leader started speaking. one very interesting thing i noted was - Probably he was trying to be harsh. He was so sober it seemed to take great effort on his part to act ruthless to us. “hey you three! stand straight and listen carefully what i say." he paused a bit, looked to his friends probably for silent approval and looked to us to continue " you know boys, We are to stay in this campus for about next four years.this is a peculiar situation. if you wish to live nicely in this campus, You ought to learn to respect your seniors. Ultimately seniors will guide you for your exams and viva voce.seniors will help you out in your day to day problems also. You must behave properly to have good relations with all” we listened to him standing still. The group was awaiting some fun but the leader was concerned about giving us proper instructions. He elaborated further “ at the time of our exams, you will give us preference in the library and will vacate seats on your own. You all will use the bathrooms only after we have used. You will not make noise in hostel when we are reading. Our turn will be first in the mess. Do you understand?” he spoke last two words aloud again to look unkind to us. it was clear, either he was doing this job first time or he was forced by his group to take our introduction. However, what he said was really genuine. We nodded.
“ now tell us your names and from where you are..”
“ my name is tapasvi from ahmedabad” responded tapasvi in flat voice.
“ I am biren from gandhinagar.”
“ neh.. from bhuj”
“ speak loudly you morons! We hardly can listen.” One other boy said and the crowd shouted along. We probably expected such language for us. though it was first time in our lives we heard such low words for us, it did not feel abnormal to us. few moments passed in the clatter.
“ ok tell us your hobbies.” finally Said the leader.
We spoke one by one as all paid due attention to us.
“ I like gazals” I said on my turn.
“ oh great ! can you sing one for us?” it would have been my pleasure otherwise, but charred in the situation, I found it difficult to sing one. Still I had to attempt one. I remember singing a gazal by ibn – e- insha sung by my favorite singer gulam ali.
Ye bate juthi bate hai , ye logo ne failaee hai, tum inshaji ka naam n lo kya inshaji saudai hai!
All clapped generously as I completed. It really flattered me! It brought my tension down. I felt our fear of ragging was really unfound and they were really good boys. We took so much tension on our head for nothing!
“what is you name? neh? you sing nicely.” the leader appreciated officially.
“ oh thank you sir.” I said.
Our turn with that group was over. We were dismissed. But before we could enjoy our release, on the way back to our room we heard a voice from the darkness.
“hey you rascals!” a boy with big spects ordered us. “ come here”. Something new was awaiting. my beats increased. To my surprise, he was the same senior boy whom we met before when shanti , my best friend from my school, and his friends from kachchh mitra vartul vallabh vidya nagar came to meet me. Ironically, they requested this same mr big spects to take care of me! Now he was here to bully me!
Door of another room was opened and we were forced in slamming the door. the seniors seemed ready to take on us. they did not look artificial in handling us rudely like the first group.rather, they seemed pioneer of this activity in the campus! They were bigger in body frame and looked like demons that night.
Mr big spects appeared happy as he caught us for fun.
“you come with me idiot!” he ordered me. “while I screw this lad ,can you please take care of these two?” my friends tapasvi and biren were given to the other big boys while mr big spects took me to balcony of the hostel room. He Looked at me, as if he is looking to some waste material. Expecting again some more hurting words, I stood in front of mr big spects in the balconey. “what is your name?” he inquired loudly.
As per my 10 std mark sheet my name was nehalkumar dilipbhai Vaidya-but I never liked that big name and so I had chance to correct it in the college.
“neh” I replied promptly with my voice trembling.
“so what hell are you for here?”he leaned toward me. his eyes looked bigger and scary.
“to study medicine” my voice trembled abit more out of fear.
“ what is your father’s name?”his voice deepened like an interrogating officer. He looked bigger and demonic than he really was.
“dilip”
“what?”
“dilip” I said fearing some harsh action from him.
“hey boy don’t you have any respect for you father? Why cant you say dilipbhai?” he shouted. I had no answer. I stood like a statue. Looking at me, he walked making circle around me. “ I am so sorry our medical college admitted a fool like you. You know, you not only appear like an idiot but you also behave like one! It is our great responsibility to make you something like a medico.” A few seconds passed in silence as he tried to figure out what next should be done. Finally, he gestured me to enter the room and told his friends as I entered the room “friends we have an item here which does not have any respect for his father…!”he laughed as if he caught me red handed for some offence.
“Leave him for me” another big boy came forward. damn! he probably had better idea as to what to do with low creature like me.
“you rascal! Your parents fed you, spent a lot on you to make you a good doctor. all in vain? now come here and take this pencil” he gave me a small piece of used pencil “measure length and breadth of this room with this. If you make any mistake, I tell you , I will create a hell here for you right now ! Understand you bloody fool?” he used many more such words which are out of the dictionary.
I saw my friends doing the same kind of exercise with different measuring tools.probably that was the sole great demonic idea liked by our seniors that night to rag us. We had no power to resist. How could we? All of us did the assigned work quietly. the big boys in the room kept bullying us. We were reminded our low existence on the earth repeatedly with some special offensive words in between. Within few minutes we completed the work. We stood in a corner awaiting questions. No one asked us the measurement of the room which probably all of us did very honestly despite the tension.
“now listen you all bunch of crap! Whenever you see any of us in the campus just stand up and wish us.is that Clear?” the big boy ordered . “now get lost!”
Just listening to some low words and measuring length of a room with a small piece of pencil – is that something very bad that can happen in ragging? Obviously not. More over
nobody hurt us physically or asked to remove our clothes. But definitely it dented our self respect and that was what pained.
Such introduction became a routine for initial few days.All the new creatures like me really feared introduction or better, ragging. It was only few like jasmin and biju were frank enough to admit that. We were asked to go to groups of seniors for getting so called introduced or better,ragged .nope, no one was like rancho from 3 idiots!!. We were pitiable and feeling very low.
As I, tapasvi and biren were room mates, our turn was usually together. There was one big group of students headed by a senior boy called GD. Other was upstairs 2nd floor headed by achal and co. there were still some other smaller groups which were demanding us to their room for introduction.
So then there was turn at GD’s group. We were taken there. we already had now some idea about the introduction.
The room was full of seniors. we felt like entering a stage.Gd appeared big, authoritarian and handsome.he had square spects with plus glasses making his eyes look bigger than it were.
“so boys tell your names..” demanded GD as a routine. His next question came out without any bullying.
“what are your hobbies?”
they were more like taking real introduction and looked less like police party taking remand. they asked me to sing a gazal. i sung one which i do not remember presently.
“ so neh, what have you leant in you physics class?” that was setu, a fair boy, coming from the same street of bhuj where I lived, from same our nagar community. “you know Newtonian rules?” he further inquired.
“oh yes sir” I replied, now fully trained to use ‘sir’ for any senior.
“so go ahead and speak all of them.”
we started speaking the rules one by one wondering the purpose of the exercise.
“These are only three. Don’t you know the fourth one?” he asked. fourth? we looked at each other. there was no such thing.
“NO sir”we said ultimately.
“so your study is not complete.”
Big laugh in audience! .we were confused. We looked at each other with big question mark on the face.
Finally,Then whole group of seniors described the fourth rule in chorus to our advantage.
“is this clear?’ they said “now mug this up and answer us whenever you are asked.”
Pretty cool nitro. (If any one is interested right now in the fourth rule of Newton, kindly ask setu in personal email!!)
It was about 8 pm when we, I tapasvi and biren, were called by some seniors for introduction . the hostel looked normal from outside. We climbed the stairs to reach the room where we were summoned. No one amongst us was in mood to say anything.when you are expecting hell to fall on you from the blue surely you would be in no mood to discuss it. We completed our robotic walk within five minutes.
The room was closed. Some one opened it as soon as we reached.as we entered, We saw a group of seniors awaiting us eagerly. Some were sitting on the cot, some were standing and some were in their chairs. The crowd was ready for the circus-us! most of the seniors looked more like us in height body and no one was scary by looks.we stopped just a few steps near the door and the door was closed with a bang.we vacantly stood in front of all the senior boys in the room.
“hello boys!” we were greeted by their leader. we hated but said ‘good evening sir’ in salvos as was taught to us the whole day. Naturally we were not offered to seat. We stood in front of the crowd with flat expression.
“ hey are you all sick? Why cant you stand straight like men?” the leader started speaking. one very interesting thing i noted was - Probably he was trying to be harsh. He was so sober it seemed to take great effort on his part to act ruthless to us. “hey you three! stand straight and listen carefully what i say." he paused a bit, looked to his friends probably for silent approval and looked to us to continue " you know boys, We are to stay in this campus for about next four years.this is a peculiar situation. if you wish to live nicely in this campus, You ought to learn to respect your seniors. Ultimately seniors will guide you for your exams and viva voce.seniors will help you out in your day to day problems also. You must behave properly to have good relations with all” we listened to him standing still. The group was awaiting some fun but the leader was concerned about giving us proper instructions. He elaborated further “ at the time of our exams, you will give us preference in the library and will vacate seats on your own. You all will use the bathrooms only after we have used. You will not make noise in hostel when we are reading. Our turn will be first in the mess. Do you understand?” he spoke last two words aloud again to look unkind to us. it was clear, either he was doing this job first time or he was forced by his group to take our introduction. However, what he said was really genuine. We nodded.
“ now tell us your names and from where you are..”
“ my name is tapasvi from ahmedabad” responded tapasvi in flat voice.
“ I am biren from gandhinagar.”
“ neh.. from bhuj”
“ speak loudly you morons! We hardly can listen.” One other boy said and the crowd shouted along. We probably expected such language for us. though it was first time in our lives we heard such low words for us, it did not feel abnormal to us. few moments passed in the clatter.
“ ok tell us your hobbies.” finally Said the leader.
We spoke one by one as all paid due attention to us.
“ I like gazals” I said on my turn.
“ oh great ! can you sing one for us?” it would have been my pleasure otherwise, but charred in the situation, I found it difficult to sing one. Still I had to attempt one. I remember singing a gazal by ibn – e- insha sung by my favorite singer gulam ali.
Ye bate juthi bate hai , ye logo ne failaee hai, tum inshaji ka naam n lo kya inshaji saudai hai!
All clapped generously as I completed. It really flattered me! It brought my tension down. I felt our fear of ragging was really unfound and they were really good boys. We took so much tension on our head for nothing!
“what is you name? neh? you sing nicely.” the leader appreciated officially.
“ oh thank you sir.” I said.
Our turn with that group was over. We were dismissed. But before we could enjoy our release, on the way back to our room we heard a voice from the darkness.
“hey you rascals!” a boy with big spects ordered us. “ come here”. Something new was awaiting. my beats increased. To my surprise, he was the same senior boy whom we met before when shanti , my best friend from my school, and his friends from kachchh mitra vartul vallabh vidya nagar came to meet me. Ironically, they requested this same mr big spects to take care of me! Now he was here to bully me!
Door of another room was opened and we were forced in slamming the door. the seniors seemed ready to take on us. they did not look artificial in handling us rudely like the first group.rather, they seemed pioneer of this activity in the campus! They were bigger in body frame and looked like demons that night.
Mr big spects appeared happy as he caught us for fun.
“you come with me idiot!” he ordered me. “while I screw this lad ,can you please take care of these two?” my friends tapasvi and biren were given to the other big boys while mr big spects took me to balcony of the hostel room. He Looked at me, as if he is looking to some waste material. Expecting again some more hurting words, I stood in front of mr big spects in the balconey. “what is your name?” he inquired loudly.
As per my 10 std mark sheet my name was nehalkumar dilipbhai Vaidya-but I never liked that big name and so I had chance to correct it in the college.
“neh” I replied promptly with my voice trembling.
“so what hell are you for here?”he leaned toward me. his eyes looked bigger and scary.
“to study medicine” my voice trembled abit more out of fear.
“ what is your father’s name?”his voice deepened like an interrogating officer. He looked bigger and demonic than he really was.
“dilip”
“what?”
“dilip” I said fearing some harsh action from him.
“hey boy don’t you have any respect for you father? Why cant you say dilipbhai?” he shouted. I had no answer. I stood like a statue. Looking at me, he walked making circle around me. “ I am so sorry our medical college admitted a fool like you. You know, you not only appear like an idiot but you also behave like one! It is our great responsibility to make you something like a medico.” A few seconds passed in silence as he tried to figure out what next should be done. Finally, he gestured me to enter the room and told his friends as I entered the room “friends we have an item here which does not have any respect for his father…!”he laughed as if he caught me red handed for some offence.
“Leave him for me” another big boy came forward. damn! he probably had better idea as to what to do with low creature like me.
“you rascal! Your parents fed you, spent a lot on you to make you a good doctor. all in vain? now come here and take this pencil” he gave me a small piece of used pencil “measure length and breadth of this room with this. If you make any mistake, I tell you , I will create a hell here for you right now ! Understand you bloody fool?” he used many more such words which are out of the dictionary.
I saw my friends doing the same kind of exercise with different measuring tools.probably that was the sole great demonic idea liked by our seniors that night to rag us. We had no power to resist. How could we? All of us did the assigned work quietly. the big boys in the room kept bullying us. We were reminded our low existence on the earth repeatedly with some special offensive words in between. Within few minutes we completed the work. We stood in a corner awaiting questions. No one asked us the measurement of the room which probably all of us did very honestly despite the tension.
“now listen you all bunch of crap! Whenever you see any of us in the campus just stand up and wish us.is that Clear?” the big boy ordered . “now get lost!”
Just listening to some low words and measuring length of a room with a small piece of pencil – is that something very bad that can happen in ragging? Obviously not. More over
nobody hurt us physically or asked to remove our clothes. But definitely it dented our self respect and that was what pained.
Such introduction became a routine for initial few days.All the new creatures like me really feared introduction or better, ragging. It was only few like jasmin and biju were frank enough to admit that. We were asked to go to groups of seniors for getting so called introduced or better,ragged .nope, no one was like rancho from 3 idiots!!. We were pitiable and feeling very low.
As I, tapasvi and biren were room mates, our turn was usually together. There was one big group of students headed by a senior boy called GD. Other was upstairs 2nd floor headed by achal and co. there were still some other smaller groups which were demanding us to their room for introduction.
So then there was turn at GD’s group. We were taken there. we already had now some idea about the introduction.
The room was full of seniors. we felt like entering a stage.Gd appeared big, authoritarian and handsome.he had square spects with plus glasses making his eyes look bigger than it were.
“so boys tell your names..” demanded GD as a routine. His next question came out without any bullying.
“what are your hobbies?”
they were more like taking real introduction and looked less like police party taking remand. they asked me to sing a gazal. i sung one which i do not remember presently.
“ so neh, what have you leant in you physics class?” that was setu, a fair boy, coming from the same street of bhuj where I lived, from same our nagar community. “you know Newtonian rules?” he further inquired.
“oh yes sir” I replied, now fully trained to use ‘sir’ for any senior.
“so go ahead and speak all of them.”
we started speaking the rules one by one wondering the purpose of the exercise.
“These are only three. Don’t you know the fourth one?” he asked. fourth? we looked at each other. there was no such thing.
“NO sir”we said ultimately.
“so your study is not complete.”
Big laugh in audience! .we were confused. We looked at each other with big question mark on the face.
Finally,Then whole group of seniors described the fourth rule in chorus to our advantage.
“is this clear?’ they said “now mug this up and answer us whenever you are asked.”
Pretty cool nitro. (If any one is interested right now in the fourth rule of Newton, kindly ask setu in personal email!!)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
CHAPTER ONE: TRAIN TO PSMC
For me, it was very first chance to do everything all alone. i mean, i never had gone any where alone till that day. The challenge was not only to go but rather to stay and study MBBS at shree pramukhswami medical college for five long years ! the college was said to be a rural medical college, still to get recognized by the medical council of india. today, when i look back, it looks like a dream for me. how did i get in the MBBS?
though firstly,I never wanted to be a doctor because i hated mugging up biology as a subject. secondly, Physics always fascinated me. it was my first love.my childhood memories are full of play with magnets, lenses and paper airplanes. my dream was to be a physicist or an aeronautical engineer.can you really believe? i wanted to be part of indian space research program! but after my result of 12th std,things turned such way, i got an option of becoming a doctor. tinted with feelings of patriotism, i and my best friend shanti often had hot discussions as to what to choose and why.i remember standing on the road to our tuition class early morning spending hours in such discussions! believe it or not, my parents never even suggested as to what should i become in life.. they wanted me to choose a career whatever i liked.
from the discussions, i felt, deeper down in me, there was an urge to work directly with the people,to help them in their daily lives. i was always moved and fascinated with teachings and life of mahatma gandhi. mahatma was an unbeatable hero for me.(and he is even today). surely, he played his part to make me a doctor!
an engineer can work wonders for the people but could he ever have chance to touch the hearts of people directly? i guessed, it was only a doctor that could do so. i knew, a physicist could save and enrich lives of thousands by designing remote sensing satellite. but he would remain in office for most of the time away from the masses. so if i really wished to be helpful to the masses directly and to touch their hearts i ought to be a doctor. to be a doctor to save life was like becoming an angel.
i also remember some emotional, lonely and tearful moments thinking about people in need of medical help.there are only a few times in whole of your life when you are left alone with yourself.people say whenever you want to make any big decision of your life, follow your heart more than your brain. boys usually do not cry but imagination of people dying without medical help made me forget my gender during those moments.
thus, gradually my heart changed my mind in favor of becoming a doctor.of course, to get in the medical college was not sure for me! despite all my emotions, there was a trap. that was because, my merit number in merit list of gujarat state was near about 1000. there was no any pre medical test at that time. students, based on their merit of 12th std were given choice to choose either medical or engineering.My rank was a tricky one because total medical seats in the state were around 1000 at that time. so, it was not sure whether would i get admission in a medical college.
for admission process to be transparent,there was central admission committees- one for medical, other for engineering. students were asked to come of counseling on different dates according to their rank. after 12th std, when you know you were to get a good branch, definitely, you would feel something special.
when we reached the L D engg. college ahmedabad for counseling, there was huge crowd of parents and students. fate of all of us was to be decided that morning. we were taken to a big class room and were made to sit in front of a big black board showing details of seats already filled up and remaining in different medical and engg colleges of the state.the data was updated after each counseling.this was very helpful for all the parents and the students.
for me, as my elder sister neha studied mbbs at m p shah medical college jamnagar, it was my first choice. but damn! the college was full far before my turn! there was only one college that showed vacancy when i studied the black board - the pramukh swami medical college karamsad- a new medical college still to be recognized by medical council of india. technically, it meant, if you do mbbs from that college, you were just a medical graduate and would not be allowed to practice as a doctor out side gujarat. but who wanted to go out side gujarat? me? never. also, there was no facility of doing post graduation there. so what great difference would it make? i would remain an mbbs doctor only. fine. still, i would be a doctor at least!
my tension and heart beat increased as i saw last 2 mbbs seats remaining at psmc and some 50 odd students to go before my counseling! beat it, my dream seemed shattered! my next choice was mechanical engineering at shree birla vishvakarma maha vidyalay vallabh vidya nagar. i would at least be an enggg.i thought. there was tension.each passing minute appeared an hour to me! any of two students would choose to be doctor and the game would be over. but as the counseling progressed, those 2 magical seats remained untouched.probably no one from those 50 odd students wanted to take risk of joining a medical college that still was to be recognized by the medical council of india. if i wanted to be a doctor that was the only choice left for me.
lastly, my merit number was announced. 2 seats in psmc remained as it were before! my dream finally was to become a reality. i stood up.i was in zabba and pajamas. i was taken where the committees were sitting.I was warmly welcomed by the admission process team. the head of the committeemen was dr mankad, as some one told me. he had big spects and was looking at the list when i entered. i had not seen him before, but i could make him out because he was sitting at the centre.
"Yess young man!" he looked at me from his spects and gave me a huge smile." you are getting a medical sear at karamsad and a mech engg. seat at BVM vallabh vidya nagar. what is your choice?"
i really was so happy.without thinking for a second, i replied " medical sir!"
‘A doctor will never wear zabba pajamas..!”dr mankad smiled again.“you are getting seat at psmc karamsad is that ok?” i nodded yes. i never would forget dr mankad. any one could see love for students in his eyes.he was so caring even in that meeting of a few minutes.
soon the paper work was over and confirmation letter was given to me. bingo!i rushed outside to show it to my parents.
as I said, I was the second to board the train to medical, last was biren Gandhi…later on to be biru dada..! However I did not know, a whole batch, so called engg. Batch was to board the train after re shuffle.
So, there came the rainy day and I was stubborn enough to stop my parents to come with me to psmc as I wanted to face it all alone...
My train from bhuj to anand stuck up somewhere near nadiyad because of heavy rain. After a few hrs of disturbed journey I ultimately reached anand and karamsad.
After some clerical work, I went to doctors’ qtrs. Dr . nishith was the rector..a tall hansome military figure! He told that I had been given room in the big hostel[other than nursing] and names of my room mates were
Biren Gandhi
Tapasvi puwar..
though firstly,I never wanted to be a doctor because i hated mugging up biology as a subject. secondly, Physics always fascinated me. it was my first love.my childhood memories are full of play with magnets, lenses and paper airplanes. my dream was to be a physicist or an aeronautical engineer.can you really believe? i wanted to be part of indian space research program! but after my result of 12th std,things turned such way, i got an option of becoming a doctor. tinted with feelings of patriotism, i and my best friend shanti often had hot discussions as to what to choose and why.i remember standing on the road to our tuition class early morning spending hours in such discussions! believe it or not, my parents never even suggested as to what should i become in life.. they wanted me to choose a career whatever i liked.
from the discussions, i felt, deeper down in me, there was an urge to work directly with the people,to help them in their daily lives. i was always moved and fascinated with teachings and life of mahatma gandhi. mahatma was an unbeatable hero for me.(and he is even today). surely, he played his part to make me a doctor!
an engineer can work wonders for the people but could he ever have chance to touch the hearts of people directly? i guessed, it was only a doctor that could do so. i knew, a physicist could save and enrich lives of thousands by designing remote sensing satellite. but he would remain in office for most of the time away from the masses. so if i really wished to be helpful to the masses directly and to touch their hearts i ought to be a doctor. to be a doctor to save life was like becoming an angel.
i also remember some emotional, lonely and tearful moments thinking about people in need of medical help.there are only a few times in whole of your life when you are left alone with yourself.people say whenever you want to make any big decision of your life, follow your heart more than your brain. boys usually do not cry but imagination of people dying without medical help made me forget my gender during those moments.
thus, gradually my heart changed my mind in favor of becoming a doctor.of course, to get in the medical college was not sure for me! despite all my emotions, there was a trap. that was because, my merit number in merit list of gujarat state was near about 1000. there was no any pre medical test at that time. students, based on their merit of 12th std were given choice to choose either medical or engineering.My rank was a tricky one because total medical seats in the state were around 1000 at that time. so, it was not sure whether would i get admission in a medical college.
for admission process to be transparent,there was central admission committees- one for medical, other for engineering. students were asked to come of counseling on different dates according to their rank. after 12th std, when you know you were to get a good branch, definitely, you would feel something special.
when we reached the L D engg. college ahmedabad for counseling, there was huge crowd of parents and students. fate of all of us was to be decided that morning. we were taken to a big class room and were made to sit in front of a big black board showing details of seats already filled up and remaining in different medical and engg colleges of the state.the data was updated after each counseling.this was very helpful for all the parents and the students.
for me, as my elder sister neha studied mbbs at m p shah medical college jamnagar, it was my first choice. but damn! the college was full far before my turn! there was only one college that showed vacancy when i studied the black board - the pramukh swami medical college karamsad- a new medical college still to be recognized by medical council of india. technically, it meant, if you do mbbs from that college, you were just a medical graduate and would not be allowed to practice as a doctor out side gujarat. but who wanted to go out side gujarat? me? never. also, there was no facility of doing post graduation there. so what great difference would it make? i would remain an mbbs doctor only. fine. still, i would be a doctor at least!
my tension and heart beat increased as i saw last 2 mbbs seats remaining at psmc and some 50 odd students to go before my counseling! beat it, my dream seemed shattered! my next choice was mechanical engineering at shree birla vishvakarma maha vidyalay vallabh vidya nagar. i would at least be an enggg.i thought. there was tension.each passing minute appeared an hour to me! any of two students would choose to be doctor and the game would be over. but as the counseling progressed, those 2 magical seats remained untouched.probably no one from those 50 odd students wanted to take risk of joining a medical college that still was to be recognized by the medical council of india. if i wanted to be a doctor that was the only choice left for me.
lastly, my merit number was announced. 2 seats in psmc remained as it were before! my dream finally was to become a reality. i stood up.i was in zabba and pajamas. i was taken where the committees were sitting.I was warmly welcomed by the admission process team. the head of the committeemen was dr mankad, as some one told me. he had big spects and was looking at the list when i entered. i had not seen him before, but i could make him out because he was sitting at the centre.
"Yess young man!" he looked at me from his spects and gave me a huge smile." you are getting a medical sear at karamsad and a mech engg. seat at BVM vallabh vidya nagar. what is your choice?"
i really was so happy.without thinking for a second, i replied " medical sir!"
‘A doctor will never wear zabba pajamas..!”dr mankad smiled again.“you are getting seat at psmc karamsad is that ok?” i nodded yes. i never would forget dr mankad. any one could see love for students in his eyes.he was so caring even in that meeting of a few minutes.
soon the paper work was over and confirmation letter was given to me. bingo!i rushed outside to show it to my parents.
as I said, I was the second to board the train to medical, last was biren Gandhi…later on to be biru dada..! However I did not know, a whole batch, so called engg. Batch was to board the train after re shuffle.
So, there came the rainy day and I was stubborn enough to stop my parents to come with me to psmc as I wanted to face it all alone...
My train from bhuj to anand stuck up somewhere near nadiyad because of heavy rain. After a few hrs of disturbed journey I ultimately reached anand and karamsad.
After some clerical work, I went to doctors’ qtrs. Dr . nishith was the rector..a tall hansome military figure! He told that I had been given room in the big hostel[other than nursing] and names of my room mates were
Biren Gandhi
Tapasvi puwar..
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