CH 41 :MY MICRO ANATOMY AND MICRO DISHONESTY

Dishonesty? that too by me? that too in my teens? a very rare thing to happen ! well, let me confess in detail. As most of the people around me know, honesty has been the core competence of my life.
well, we had to study a subject in anatomy known as histology. it meant study of micro anatomy- the microscopic appearance of cell and other body structures.
 we had a big basement hall in the dept of anatomy. there was something different about this hall.
the hall was neat and clean. i mean there were no human bodies or its cut open parts or even the museum like specimens! also it smelled clean as there was not a trace of the body preservative formaline in that hall. so what was there in?
the hall had series of microscopes arranged on row of connected tables. there were a few cupboards and things to study was hidden in those cupboards. during the practical of histology, our teacher - dr raibaghkar- would open up the cupboard and get out a wooden brief case from it.
" so today, we will study the muscles of the body." he would say.then, he would open up the wooden case and give the slides to us. we were needed to see them under the microscope. we had to learn to recognize the structure.
" there are three types of muscles in the body. the skeletal muscle- looks red elongated, the smooth muscle -looks spindle shaped with nucleus in the center and the heart muscle- that does not have individual cell wall but it forms a network of cells making a syncitium.. right?.. now see under the microscope and find out which slide you have been given... no noice.."

easy.. wasn't it? just put your slide under the scope and see ! but as you look in, you would see the visual field studded with saffron reddish color with black streaks and spots on it. nothing matched the structures said to be seen! there were some moments of eureka when sir himself would come and show things with a pointer glass. the worst part this was, these slides were to be kept for spot examination! during the examination, we were needed to identify the slide and give the answer within a few seconds before moving to the next spot.

also, we were needed to draw figures in the histology journal with comments.we had to use blue and red pencil to draw the figures. i must admit - though i was very lazy in completing journals, initially i did the job as good as i could. sir used to see the journals and sign it.

after some time, madam dangerwalla became in charge of the histology teaching. she was very ideal and so was very difficult to satisfy with the journal work. she would sit and see our journals in detail.
" who is this roll no 59?" she would speak calmly while we would be struggling with the microscope.
"yes madam, that is me.." vaidya surname used to put me among last students of my batch. i would sit up and go to madan.
"now what is this?" madam would forward my journal and point to a figure drawn by me.
" this is madam, a columnar epithelium.." i would say hiding a fear inside.
" is it? do you know the nuclei of the cell of the columnar epithelium are at the base of the cell? " she would stare and naturally my face would be flat and mind blank !
" you have drawn in center.. this is wrong..go back and correct this. i will see your journal afterwards.." that was the usual story.  most of the journals would return with remarks to re do the assigned work with the correction !

it was not that i never tried to reach up to the madam's ideal but somehow it was not my cup of tea! i tried and tried and ultimately stopped writing histology journal. i started avoiding the classes. but this did not solve the problem. rather, it aggravated. that was beacause journal writing was must for each and every student to be eligible for appearing in the external examination.

i was in a bad need of a friend who could push me. tapasvi was already there and in fact he was one of a rare student whose journal was never returned by dr dangerwalla ! but apart from looking at my work what else can he do for me?

luckily i had a special friend who would sacrifice more time for me and do something more. yes, jasmine was ready to draw figures and even write for me! the work had piled up so much i was really tense when she offered to help. i never had got my journal work done by any of my friends till then in my life but i could not resist her offer. she happily took my journal and draw right figures for me and so i was able to show up my journal before time of the examination. that was my micro dishonesty! probably first and last academic dishonesty in whole life by me! [though that does not justify what i did i know!]

however, jasmine could obviously not help in the histology hall and so my struggle with slides and microscope was on. before exam, all batches were given revision. at the time of revision, we were shown all the slides again and again.
"hey neh, do you know how to recognize slide of bladder?" one of my friend asked.
" it has trasitional epithelium" i said promptly.
" you fool! you will never learn!" he smiled " look at this corner of the slide..."
i tried to look in the microscope.
"not there in..my friend! look outside.. can you see a special scratch here?" he pointed the corner. there was a scratch mark there.a 'special marker' of that slide.
" you see this is how you identify a slide of bladder..!" he looked at me with winning smile " you know , one of our senior told me the trick!" the trick was instant hit. many a times students indulged more in finding or encrypting a 'special marker' on the slide.

" but what if they give any other slide of bladder?" i asked an obvious question.
" our anatomy dept have a limited set of slides and the same slides they will use in the examination. in the exam, they will cover the label of the slide but they can not cover such special identification mark! so forget everything ! just remember scratches and marks on different slides! " he had cracked the code completely. but i never liked this idea. it was like cheating. so i never indulged myself in finding special marks on the histology slides.

then ultimately there was a terminal exam. we were taken to the same hall and were given blind labelled slides for examination. dr raibaghkar was the examiner.we were given a few minutes to recognize the given slide.

" now tell me what is your slide?" sir came and stood near one of the student.
" sir i think this slide is of the cardiac muscle.." said the student.
" ok good.." sir said." tell what do you see.."
" there is a syncitium of the cells.."
" that is very good" sir's 'good' added more confidence to the student.
" i also see scattered nuclei .." the student added confidently.
" that is great..very good" sir rarely smiled but i saw him that day. he smiled mischievously.
" sir i see the muscle fibers .." pumped by 'good' plus 'very good' , the student said further.

"ha   ha ... ha" sir laughed aloud. just before a second he was praising that guy! he surprised all of us.
" my dear student this is a skeletal muscle and not a cardiac muscle .. ha..ha..ha...!" and he left the table leaving my good friend totally shocked. this was typical of dr raibaghkar. he would never give you any hint during the exam about the right answer. on the other hand he would eat away your exam time by leading you to your gross mistakes.

i really have no idea whether my student friend spoke everything because of any 'special marker' on the slide! well for me, it was a lucky day. i was given slide of the urinary bladder which i could identify by the transitional epithelium..!

CH 40 : SWEET N SOUR ANATOMY MUSEUM

though anatomy was one of the subject i hated the most, let me tell you nothing was more fascinating than to see human structures in such a detail. when you meet any one, you just see him or her from outside. study of anatomy lets you see any one from inside. you also realize how correct is the old saying 'beauty is skin deep'. i do not mean to say the human structures inside the skin are not beautiful. they have their own beauty. but they look alike in different human beings. anatomy probably tells us whatever way different we look from outside, just go 1 to 2 mm deep in the skin and all look almost same!

though, i was not among the best, i was an average dissector of our batch just like my friend samir. we both were active members of our 6 member group dissecting a female body given to us. we had margi, manisha, namrata and bimal as our partners. one of us would hold our bible for dissection - cunningham- others would read and would try to follow the instructions to dissect the anatomic structures. we had couple of forceps and a knife to explore the wonders behind the human skin. during each session, we were given a target to reach to a structure. it was not easy job. we had to be very cautious in each step. one mistake and it could destroy the anatomic structure. we were needed to identify the different parts and the tissues of human body to be able to follow the dissection manual properly.

during such a session, you get absorbed to the work in such a way, you hardly care about your apron and hands and fingers soiled with the stinking preservative formaline. in fact whole of you would stink like a hell after the anatomy dissection session. the job was tiring and time consuming.
on one day , some how, we finished the dissection a bit early. so i got a chance to wander about. there was a big hall near our dissection hall. some of the finest dissected specimens were kept there preserved in chemical and packed in transparent glass containers. that was the anatomy museum.

as i entered, i saw specimens of different parts of human body arranged and classified on big racks. there were sections like 'upper limb' , 'the brain', 'the heart', ' the abdomen and pelvis' etc. but the most eye catching section was the one showing development of human fetus! it showed tiny babies with tiny fingers toes and even eyes! the specimens were arranged in such a way that showed a small baby  gradually progressing towards a big child in the womb. we all were like those babies one day! how fascinating! there were also some eye catchy specimens of abnormal human fetuses. some had no limbs, some had big heads while some even had open skull without any brain matter.

however, the most mysterious looking part of the museum, i must say, was the section on the human brain! a small whitish organ with wavy surface was the real boss in command ! some 'I' was hidden behind every such specimen ! brain really looked like an ultimate structure.

there were also some horrible looking specimens. i mean, imagine a half cut face with one eye! or a full face with cut open skull without brain to show the base of the skull from inside.
if some one asks me about most ugly part of the human body, i can not remember any one. Even the intestines and the stomach had their own beauty. same can be said about human genitals.

was that over? no..~! apart from tissue specimens, we had 3-4 full human skeletons hanging at one corner of the museum.some bones were arranged in a few showcases. from tiniest to biggest. most attractive naturally was the skull.

in this vast collection of the specimens, i was trying to spot that day's dissection part. just fumbling around, i was probably the only student inside the museum. i saw big pelvic bones and skull bones of buffalo kept for comparative anatomy.It really looked a herculean task to set up such a nice anatomy museum. it must have costed hours and hours of dedicated and skillful dissection. i really saluted the man behind the whole task- resp dr shrivastav whom i still was yet to see.

the fact i was not knowing that time was, in the near future this hall was to serve as a place for revision and reading.  my friend jasmine and me was to use this place to refine knowledge before examination. though i hated reading and examination, and she loved exams, we both liked the museum. she was to prepare exhausting and un ending reading time tables for me in this hall. i never was knowing we would spend hours and hours here for studies. i hated reading and so jasmine was to come in my life to teach me! sometimes you open up a simple door and suddenly you find that door opened new life to you.

"who is there in..?" suddenly a deep authoritative voice struck my head from behind breaking my thoughts. as i turned around i saw an old man which looked like a big professor staring at me with fury. i missed a beat. who was he?
" what are you doing here at this time?" he asked me in punitive tone. my anatomical structures got loose. no one needs deep anatomical knowledge to get loose!
" sir, i was trying to study the specimens.." i said with whatever little voice i could speak.
" at this time? it is time for dissection.." sir scolded.
" we completed today's dissection sir.." said i keeping my head low.
"what? completed? just go to hall and do your work !" that was an order.
i walked to hall with fear of some punitive action. my fifteen minutes passed with big tension but nothing more happened. in the first mbbs, most of the students really fear the  teacher like a kindergarten kid! some how sir did not come to our table. probably my sin was not that big. my beats settled ultimately.
i saw that old professor talking with one other big professor.
"hey look! this is the prof that scolded me.. " i asked my friend " who is he?"
"dont you know?" he said with surprise " he is none other than our head of the department of the anatomy dr shrivastav.."
ouch!

CH : 39 ANATOMY OF ANATOMY

human machine is far more than perfect. any student can realize this fact by studying human anatomy.  As a student in my childhood, i was always curious about the structures inside us. Now here, At psmc, i was given a chance to see the human body completely from outside to inside. the subject of anatomy was perceived as one of the most difficult one in the entire medical curriculum. however, to make it easy,our deptt of anatomy was having a rainbow of the staff. i mean, it had one of the most renowned anatomist dr shrivastav as the head, [whom i feared the most], associates like dr mehra , dr dangarwala and dr raibarkar, and able tutor dr rakesh gandhi. also, we had others like dr gediya and madam dalwadiya to complete the list.

we had rotation in a week. three days for anatomy and three days for physiology and biochemistry.the anatomy days were a bit unpleasant for me. what would you do with the subject that had nothing but vast information and fine details about human structure? No reasoning - just mugging...!

we had to learn the gross anatomy, surface anatomy, bone anatomy that is osteology, cellular anatomy known as histology apart from systemic and special organ anatomy. add to this embryology and neuro anatomy..!

my relation with anatomy had a bitter beginning. the incident took place when we all were called for a practical. i do not remember what mistake i did but it prompted my professor to speak harsh and hurting words for me in front of all my classmates.i exactly remember his remark till today. he said " pata nahi kaha se aa jate hai aese log medical me!" - [ i do not know how such people - read me!- get admission to a medical college] it really did hurt a lot at that time. sir might have had remarked very casually but a sensitive teen like me could not handle it. what was wrong with me?  wasn't i an honest middle class student? i got my medical seat on merit and not by donation. what big mistake a student like me could commit that amounted such a remark? i felt like standing up and saying " sir my merit has sent me here and not you at all." but that could happen in a dream only.in fact, my self esteem was fragile and so i was hurt badly.

 that evening i could not speak to any one but tapasvi. i told him how i was treated by that old wolf. he listened calmly and said." come on neh! he is a weird man.. how can he know who you are? and how can even you expect from him? come on ..forget it.."

" but he said in front of all"

" so what.. every one knows you in our class..and same way we know him also. just forget." he was able to convince me. sometimes it is vital to forget than to remember. i learnt that.

the other teachers, i mean , most of them, were empathetic and after some time i was perceived as one of the sincere student.our batch was allotted a female body and we started with female lower abdomen. for us, the terms were very new. dr dangar wala was our lady professor and was very good at explaining latin terms.once i remember to have asked her about something from female genitals that no boy probably ever would  have asked.

while reading cunningham, our official book on the dissection of the human body,  i could not understand a few terms. madam was just outside the dissection hall. i thought i should ask her.
"madam , .."
'yes please..?'
" madam could you explain to me what is the meaning of labia minora and labia majora?"madam smiled..probably to my innocence. no other boy would have asked this.
" ok ..let me show you" she said and came to the cadaver we were dissecting. she took a forceps and reached to the female genitals of the cadaver
."you see.." she pinched a part of genital " this is minor lip of the genitals known as labia minora and ..." she pinched another part " this is the major lip that is... labia majora.. is this clear?"
" oh yes madam" i said perspiring at my blunder! my friends laughed at my knowledge.

i still had not seen the professor i feared the most... dr shivastava.. the head known for his deep knowledge of the subject and strict conduct. our seniors said dr shrivastav used to get furious even for a minor mistake. that was enough to create fear in me.but such incident never happened.

  first time i saw him when he came to take our class on human embryology. he used to teach with passion. on that day he taught us formation of digestive system. he explained all the developmental movements with a model.
dr shrivastav, in fact, loved students. but some part of his love was expressed by his anger towards laziness or misconduct of a student. he always applauded good students. tapasvi was one of his favorite.he was very much pleased by my friend jasmine. over the period, jasmine established her as the best student of our batch.she was the same girl which cried in exam hall and sat back only after great persuasion by dr rakesh gandhi- our jr lecturer. soon after, jasmine started scoring in all the exams. and so she became one of the most admired student by dr shrivastav.

for some unknown reason, some people enjoy speaking so called sexy in class. one of our tutor was fond of speaking words with double meaning especially in front of the girls. girls hated his class while some boys enjoyed. one of our professor was also like that. he was none other than the one who remarked on me that day. one day he was taking our class. he was teaching about layers on lungs." you know.." he said " the lungs have two covering layers .. the outer layer is attached with the inside of the chest wall while the inner layer is stuck with the lungs.." he glanced at the class and paused  " let me explain this.." he smiled as if a teen boy looking at a girl." if we assume the breast as the lungs ... the outer layer is the petticoat... and the inner is.....the  bra! "

CH 38 : A STRANGE ANATOMIST

[ NOTE : the professor i am to talk about was a very honest, dedicated to students and a scholar of the subject. but he had atypical behavior. some times far from normal. that had weaved many stories around his personality. i also was one of a curious student about his life.most of the events i have witnessed while some i have heard from others. i have attempted to write something meaningful about this weird man,  naturally changing the real name, mixing and making the story.presently there is no information about where he is. i wish him all the best!]

when you are in 1st mbbs, you like to wish your new professors whenever you see them. it was a gesture of respect and love and a try to nurture the new relationship. boys and girls liked to say 'good morning sir' whenever they encountered any teacher anywhere. to hear such a wish was just like hearing chirping of birds [more so when girls sung it in salvos!].

most of the teachers had their own response. someone would say ' morning-morning' with eyes flashing. others would reply in a rather flat manner. but most of the teachers liked our gesture.
" good morning sir!" i said with all my enthusiasm to a fair handsome professor who was passing by me near the college. it was a cool morning and i expected a warm smile back. but that strange professor just passed by me as if nothing had happened! i was a bit taken aback. why? wasn't i loud enough to reach his ears? he did not care even to glance at me. was he in some hurry? might be. I felt neglected but that was okay. someone may not hear you when he or she is in hurry or lost in own thoughts.

 some one told me he was professor in anatomy.

In the boys hostel, when i met my seniors and lobby partners that day, i told them the incident.

" why a good professor should not respond to a wish by a novice student like me? is he a proud man or was he in that hurry?" i asked
" can you describe him?" one of my seniors asked
i tried to remember how he looked.
"oh yes.. he was a fair, handsome, nicely built man with a thick mustache and wavy hairs. he  was around 40yrs. probably he was in dark blue t shirt. he was walking fast as if he would miss  a train otherwise.. and he had a brief case in his hand.."
" there you are! it is none of your fault neh! you know, we have only one such man in the campus who would not respond to our wish at all! not even to the girls! he just would keep walking and would not look to the student even if wished aloud blowing his head off! "
 "yes exactly that s what happened today. he appeared odd man to me." i exclaimed
" oh really? he might appear as such but i tell you he is not like any ordinary professor." my senior said
" he is a scholar in his subject. he has done his pg from all India institute of medical sciences..."
"wow.." AIIMS was like medical angel's abode to a student like me.
" have you ever seen him anytime talking with any one in the campus? he keeps away from everyone..." told my senior
" from where is he?"
" probably from somewhere around delhi.."

soon there after, i encountered him in the class on our routine anatomy day.

 in the class, he would come with a stick in his hand as a pointer and start his lecture without any other talk. he never asked questions to us. though addicted to ask questions in the class, i do not remember asking a single question to him. his voice was deep and was mixed with hissing sound from the vocal cord. his speech was pressured.


 he used to teach a lot, bombarding the information to our little ill capacitated brains. he used to write furiously on the black board and erase it with double the intensity making noisy sound of the duster[ours was the time when there were no dust less white boards]. he loved to use colored chalks to show us details of the anatomy.he always tried to tell us the important points in his lectures. he would repeat and re repeat same lines when he thought necessary. in between , he would look at our vacant faces and again re teach the line till his fullest ability. he never scolded any one. but sometimes he used to make gestures of frustration. i mean, in between the lecture, he would raise his hands to his head would forcibly close both the eyes grasp his head and murmur something like 'no no' to self. and soon, again he would regain himself and try to make the point clear  to us.

like many of the professors he also had a peculiar tag line- at any important sentence he would pause a bit, point his pointer, move it around the sentence on the black board and would speak "underline thousand times.."

something more about him. he used to stay alone in a room provided by the management. we never  ever saw him talking with anyone like my senior said. and to add to the mystery, some one told he was un married.

think about this.. a scholar from aiims, coming alone all the way from a city like delhi to a rural place like karamsad, handsome fair earning good salary and still living alone at this age. very odd.. no?
His background and behavior probably attracted me towards him. i used to wish him every time i saw him. though my efforts were futile. i never  got a smile back at that time.despite all that,  some how i hoped to talk with him sometime. i noticed many a times he used to change his way when he saw me coming to his way. that was very weird. it triggered more of sense of mystery about him in my mind.

was he alone in his family? or was he left alone? was he having a very painful past to hide? why he was not married? might be, he was a badly heart broken man. sometimes i even wondered if at all it would be possible for me to talk with him ever. but why.. why at all should i force some one to talk with me who never wished to talk with any one? probably there was sense of doing something good for that odd acting professor. i thought if he started talking with a student like me, he might re think about his lonesome life and some miracle might happen that might bring him back to normalcy from his weird nest.

Over the period, i learnt it was not only me who was curious about this mysterious gentle professor. there were many others which tried to break the ice. there were some senior boys and even girls who thought probably the same way which i did.

there was a tall girl in our senior batch. she was one of our category. initially she started wishing the prof despite no reply. then she observed sir changing his way whenever he saw her. so she changed her strategy. she started following him! she would not leave him till confrontation!

one day, as i heard , she started following sir. he walked fast, she walked fast. he changed the way, she changed the way. he tried a lot but she persisted. As a last resort, sir started climbing the stairs. she also went following him. sir literally ran to our college terrace. but she was a fanatic. there was some spirit in her head. she ultimately cornered him on an edge of the college terrace.

" good afternoon sir" she said
"ok ok good afternoon ...you go now" said sir annoyingly.

this was not over. he had to face one more fanatic girl from our junior batch.
" i took it as a challenge. i felt i must get this prof talking with me.." this was how she put cause of her actions in words. " i kept following sir for many days. some times even used to search and find them for the reason. on each encounter, though i wished with all the warmth, he did not speak any thing. i felt, some how, he will give in. and one day, believe me, he came probably searching me and said 'how are you?'.." she recalled with trembling voice " now it was my turn to behave strangely... this was because suddenly i realized i was a girl and i feared if i created a soft corner in his heart.. this could be a big mistake!.. i stepped back and literally ran away from the scene. just before a few minutes when he spoke to me i felt i won the game but soon, it struck to my mind i unknowingly probably was playing with feelings of a gentleman...." she admitted " no one should play with feelings of any one like this... and leave feelings, just think of a girl following you apparently with no reason. how bad he might have felt while encountering me like that daily. no one should behave the way i did, i only wish him to pardon me.

this was not the case with me. i used to just wish him whenever i met him. this was just like with any other teacher. for me, like i said, initially there was no response from sir. then he started nodding head in response.

again, some one told me a new story about this man. i still do not know how far this is correct but it sounded believable to me.

when sir was young, at delhi or somewhere, he fell in love with some one. they said it was a perfect pair. she left sir only because sir had asthma. and that, i guessed, broke this gentleman. so he left delhi and joined this remote medical college.

life takes sudden turns. that happened with my professor. one day, he developed severe breathlessness. it was an acute attack of bronchial asthma. sir was so breathless he was unable to even speak. some doctors residing around him immediately took him to the emergency department of our hospital. he was admitted. started with the oxygen and the drugs. though, he never mixed well with any one around him, at the time of need all the doctors residing around him and the students came to see him and to help him.

he recovered gradually. but during his stay in the hospital, he probably realized how students loved him and cared for him. he really was thankful to all. unfortunately the incident took place when i was not in the campus. the episode definitely helped to break some ice.

sir started answering the wishes! and what about me? i was happy as sir would stop sometime on the way and would ask with big smile 'hey neh, howz going?" . his few words felt like gold medals to me! i salute this unique man and wish him all the best wherever he is presently....!

CH 37 : MY FIRST HOTEL VISIT

as i learnt afterwards, it was beji's idea to form a group with us. as a group, we used to sit and used to talk a lot apart from academic activities like reading book of applied anatomy.one fine day, jasmine and beji came.

" hey neh, how about dining outside this sunday together?" proposed beji. to say no to any one is one of the difficult task of my life.secondly, when something is proposed by one of your first girlfriend how can you say no? more over,the student mess remained closed on sunday evenings and we were forced to manage sunday evening's food outside somewhere.. two decades back, options were limited.there was no any restaurant in the campus. nearby karamsad had a few laari walas to rescue us. there were some fine hotels at vallabh vidya nagar, but that were too fancy and probably costly for a middle class student like me. still, you forget your class when invitation is from some one special.

" okay" i thought for a while " but where should we go?" i hoped she would say to some udipi like place.
"avre" said jasmine enthusiastically. oh! i saw that hotel on the way from anand to karamsad. it appeared one of the costliest hotel i never wished to go in. but i always wondered what type of food they served.

in fact, though as a city, bhuj was not a very small town and also it was not that as a family we never dined outside home, i was exposed to only a few kinds of outside food- gujarati and madrasi. since my mother was a working woman, my father many a times allowed luxury of dining out. mostly we would stop at darbargadh, a place near palace and tower of bhuj where all sorts of outside food was available- dabeli, bhel, ragda petis, bhajia etc. that food was far more tastier to my test buds than what we were preparing at home. or, we would go to bus station where masaladhosa was available on a laari called nityanand. But the greatest luxury for me and my only sister neha was to go to anando, a south indian specialist restaurant near our hamirsar lake. it served best quality of all kinds of dhosas, uttapas and vada idli. i remember as a small kid to have read the prize of dhosa rs 5 only! and as i grew up, anando remained my favourite place to eat. i had voracious appetite then- i could finish three big plates of dhosa, uttapa and bhel! all costing around from rs 10 to 15!

there were some other costlier places also like hotel prince but we never went there. as i grew up, i realized that outside food was very much harmful to our health. our family's outside eating was far more than any other family around us. teenage somehow brings idealism to all of us. i felt we should not eat outside and gradually became staunch fighter that would prefer even khichdi alone over outside food- be it my favorite masala dhosa! i became a staunch proponent of home food.

and here, the girl power -designed to melt almost the convictions you have in life- dragged me! so despite all my beliefs and arguments against outside food. i happily said 

" thik hai...jayenge.."

jasmine looked happier. she had that innocence to not to hide whatever happening in her heart. while beji was on the other pole- she was able to hide or mimic anything. it was not possible to read her.

on the sunday evening, i and tapasvi went to avre. tapasvi had cancelled his routine weekly home visit to be able to join us.

jasmine, beji and anu were waiting there for us. they all were dressed nicely and looked pretty (if not heroines!). to dine with pretty girls is a kind of kick for any teen boy-who would disagree? ( probably my dear friend hemant would!)

the hotel was just on the road. it had a big glass entrance. as we reached the door, the guard sitting at the door stood up and opened the door. he lowered his head and said "welcome..sir.." that was the first ever salute in my life i received for spending money!

as we entered, there was one other guy who guided us to the table.i felt, he was a real useful man since he safely took us to a table situated in one of the side rooms of the main dining hall in horribly dim light.  some instrumental was played from hidden speakers. almost all the tables were full. we appeared lucky enough to get the table. the sound of plates and spoons were adding background music to murmuring voices of the customers. there was strong spicy smell in the atmosphere.

the place appeared far different than our 'desi' anando at bhuj which i thought as a big hotel till now. there were no door keepers who would welcome and salute you. it was properly lit and you easily could see the empty tables to choose from.

we sat down and arranger ourselves on the table. i and tapasvi were on one side while three dolls -beji, jasmine and anu sat in front of us. the dim light was adding beauty to their faces. that must be the reason to keep such lighting sparked in my mind. the hotel was decorated luxuriously. wall paintings, show pieces looked gorgeous.there were no fans. it was centrally air conditioned. i never had dined in such a big decorated ac hotel.

soon, one waiter came and served water (those were not the days when mineral water was offered as a choice to the customers).He also put menu cards. i was curious to know the type of food they served. i picked up one.

the card was full of items i never heard of! there were soups, subjees different kinds of pulaos and rotis. but the most shocking part for me was the cost. each of the dish was about or more than three times the cost of my favorite masala dhosa! though we were to divide the expenses, the rates made me perspire!

jasmine, tapasvi, beji all looked very comfortable. probably for them, this was nothing new. a suited booted polished man appeared from the dark to take the order.my friends ordered many things enthusiastically. jasmine looked expert among all.

it took quite a long to deliver the order. but naturally, we enjoyed talking and sharing with each other during that time. the food was served. each item was new for me. it was first time i saw what they called roti and how a naan looked. i realized all the food was immersed in butter and oil. and it was called punjabi food. was that the daily food the punjabis eat? i think no one would dare to think that question after seeing any tall and healthy sardar!

i do not remember the amount of bill we paid but i enjoyed the company and that was the cost for that.

Nothing is more costlier than a girl! this was the first lesson in my life to justify.

soon, the chocolaty evening got over. with one more paid salute at the exit, we re incarnated to middle class students from 'sirs'!
" oh man, my stomach is full like never before.. i think we need a walk." i said. probably it was true for all of us. To get out everything possible from single paisa spent, we forgot we had limited capacity stomach!
every one agreed. we started walking towards vallabh vidyanagar. 20 years from now, the road was almost free from the traffic and almost lonesome. ideal to walk. it was about 8.30pm  late evening.
--suddenly we heard a man's cry just nearby "save me...save me.." it was horribly loud and was coming from a slum like area just near the railway track. before our brain could deduce anything further, a completely naked  young man appeared from the dark running towards us. we all were shocked.
"save me .. save me.." he was running and crying. like a lightening he passed by us making quick way to the other side of the road and vanished in the dark. soon, a mob of men came rushing from the rail side. all of them appeared furious. they wanted to catch the naked man.they steered to the same direction but the naked man was gone in the dark. vanished to save himself.

everything happened very fast within a couple of minutes. it was simply beyond any ones imagination what happened. was he a thief? but what about his clothes? torn by the mob? but in that case there had to be at least some torn cloth on his body. there was none. he was anatomically completely naked.

probably that guy might had been caught while trying to have sex with some lady. or might be trying for rape? this was the sole reason that could explain whatever happened shocking all of us.

i think we would have witnessed a murder if the naked man was caught in front of us. the horrifying moments left lasting memory.

ch 36: MY FIRST VIVA

as my father never wanted me to go to a regular school, i had luxury of starting my schooling at the age of 9 yrs! as i entered the school, i realized that the traditional education system had a peculiar way of examining the students. the system wanted all the students to behave like a herd of sheep and, to emphasize that, it wanted the student herd to sit in a room under supervision of a system defined so called teacher and write answers to some jargon questions. face to face examination was a rare thing to undergo. the system genuinely believed all the students could be judged by same standard of questions! in such exams, there almost never were oral and face to face exams. yes, in practical classes, teachers used to ask some questions. in 12th std exams especially, there were practicals followed by a small session of face to face oral exams.

and now here, in the medical college, we were to face special oral exams called 'viva'... though it may appear funny today, it was a great stress on most of the students- especially those from gujarati medium. how could you give answers in english when it simply was difficult even to understand it? 

"so..." dr harsoda, tutor in physiology once announced when completing his lecture  " we are completing the bloods... you will have vivas on bloods this weeks.." he said typically adding 's' wherever he could.that was typical of his speech. the announcement ran like an electric current in our nerves. if not all, most of the students felt the weight of the word viva.

apart from routine 3monthly 6monthly and yearly exams, a medical student is churned almost twice a week in viva exams. same was to start with us. there is no doubt most people believe medical graduation course as one of the toughest course of all the branches.

as some of our seniors heard about our first viva, advises suggestions were showered on us.

" 1st viva? ha .. ha.. ha.. you all are to be beaten from all the side! beware..! harsodas might eat you alive!" said one of the chronics from seniors.

" you do not need to read at all for viva...just be cool and answer if you know... never bluff.."
" even if you try your best, harsodas will never give you more than 6 out of 10marks and at worst you might get 4.. so why to worry for mere 2 marks?" a logical advice!

" you know, only we boys have to read.... for girls it hardly matters especially if she is hot enough!" some frustrated guy said.

" hey .. all of you read nicely..do not waste time. if you read for vivas, it would be easier in the final exams. you all need to have habit of answering in viva." advised one good senior. "i know students which know a lot but when it comes to speak it up at viva, their toungue gets paralysed. so practice from now.."

personally for me, to speak was not a big issue. i had such habit. big issue was to read! i hated reading and hoped to learn and remember everything from the college classes. that naturally, was simply impossible. but it was always my fantasy!

we were taught how the blood cells were formed in the bone marrow and what different stages were needed to get a mature red blood cell. the stages had different names according to their appearence on microscope. you needed to mug up the whole cascade! still, when everything was over, and your brain holded the names of the different maturity states of the red cells with great difficulty, the text said what you mugged up was only one theory of red cell production the other was ready to be described further! and this was how all the biology went... all information, different theories- we had British school of thought, american school of thought and thank god there was no any indian school of thought on red cell production.

i  really hated but tried to mug up some facts and read. my friends were sincere and most of them read quite well. i had no idea about the questions. few seniors told us something about that.

at last the day arrived. the herd of my batch mates gathered around the chamber of dr harsoda. all were well dressed and were in white aprons. sir was in his chamber on his chair. i remember my samir, margi, manisha prakash and bimal waiting for the viva outside the chamber. all were naturally a bit tense. few of my friends came with big physiology textbook and some notes.
-and the bell rung! first student was called in for viva. i do not remember who he or she was, but i remember the rest becoming tense and attentive to the voice heard from the question chamber of dr harsoda. as 'v' for vaidya usually came last, my turn to go in the chamber for the viva was almost last.
the students became silent to listen to the sounds coming from the chamber. i never liked to hear questions from outside. i had my own reasons. like, i always liked to give extempore answers. secondly, hearing questions from outside always was felt like stealing something. thirdly, repeat questions were less likely[ so why to waste energy ]. and finally, probably the most appropriately- i was scared to discover my ignorance about the answers of the  questions beforehand! so i never tried to peep my ears in the viva chamber. however, most of the students usually tried to hear the whisper like questions heard outside.few of them would immediately open up the books to seek the answer.few will announce the answer from their deep knowledge for fellow student's benefit.

-i used to stand still, trying to hide my tension and closing ears to all the noise and whispers around me.such times probably give you time to forget the world and remember only the small present tense. the world gets shrunken.
the bell rung. the first student came out. all others circled him.
" hey.. hey.. what did he ask?"
"nothing"
" what nothing?"
"i mean, nothing was asked from what i read.."
mean while the bell rung again for the next student.
the cycle went on till my turn.the bell rung. probably i was the second last. the chamber was small. dr harsoda was on the other side of the table. as i entered, he gestured and asked me to take the seat.
" you are... vaid" like dr harsoda, almost no one pronounced my surname vaidya correctly.
"yes sir" my heart started pumping extra blood for my nerves.
"tell me..." he took a long pause as he seemed to have used all his armamentorium against my friends. "tell me vaid...." he probably at last dragged a question the wall behind me "what are the reticulocites?"
" they are the immature red cells"
"etle means ke?"- one of sir's favorite gunglish dialogue!
" i mean last step before maturity" i said
" fine fine" he nodded his head. dr harsoda never liked to pull legs of any student. i do not remember him becoming harsh to any one. he asked me a few more questions and done! my first viva was over with a great success! success was not about the marks. that were not probably even distinctive. Success was just about to go through the first viva!
there after, like all the medical students, viva became a routine part of life at the college. i liked physiology vivas. physiology needed less mugging and more common sense. i disliked vivas of anatomy and biochemistry.
in physiology, dr harsoda and dr singh were very liberal in marks. they used to ask predictable simple questions. how can i forget dr shivdatta nishith? a fair handsome and tall army physiologist, always awarding less marks in the vivas? he used to call five students together for viva in his chamber. he would ask the question and if the student could not answer, it would be passed on to the next student and so on. many a times his question would go from one corner to the other un answered. sir had atypical speech. i think whole of our batch even today would remember the way he spoke the famous " all-or-none -law" [allar nanla!] i remember how he demonstrated popliteal artery pulses to me by crossing his legs and asking me to observe his pulsing leg.

dr s k singh used to be very gentle in viva and would give ample of marks event if the student spoke little. probably he believed in the positive feedback theory. he would even explain the things in the middle of the viva.
the head , dr mazoomdar was a real teacher and physiologist. he used to ask anything that he believed to be answered by a student's common sense about the subject and chapter.[khommon sense!]

CH 34:RANG BARSE..AT MY COLLEGE...!

Life is a package deal with curses and bliss packed in a single bundle. and sometimes, a curse, as perceived initially, converses to be a bliss. since i belonged to a far away place, this was such a case for me. while my friends enjoyed all the festivals at their nearby home, as they used to before their entry to the college, i had unique opportuinity to be part of some of unique celebrations at my college campus!

one of the vivid memory that i have for such an event is celebration of holi. since most of the students were from nearby places, only a few used to be at the campus on big festival days. some were forced to stay back like me because of their far away homes while some had to stay back to read for the scary examinations.

the boys' hostel was 'c' shaped at that time. the open end of the 'c' faced beautiful farms. it looked more like living in a lavish farm house than a college hostel. i lived in room no 15 with tapasvi and biren as my partners-one from ahmedabad and the other from gandhinagar. both never liked to miss any opportunity to go to home even in the routine days. so i was usually left alone in my room.

I do not remember any traditional holi fire in the campus but the next day, dhuleti, was celebrated with great zeal! i remember first such celebration. before telling that, let me reveal, i was a very shy as a kid and hardly used to play holi in its full violent flavor! back in bhuj as a child, i used to play holi with few of my friends and was always worried of some alien attack on me! i basically disliked to be wet and more to be dirty. also, i never liked someone attacking me and making all my hairs studded with the color. you can now imagine how i might be hating use of coal and mud in place of color on such an occasions.

i had no idea whatsoever as to what would happen on the day of dhuleti. I remember  there was one kaka who used to come from karamsad to sell milk pouches and small cakes and puffs. he used to shout "lactose" in place of milk! he used to come on his bicycle and was very talkative. he had habit of talking a lot about any thing.just a few days before the holi festival, kaka started telling his own tingling life story about how he met kaki on the day of dhuleti and what and what not he did. you can imagine how popular his extempore speeches might have got in the boys hostel! i am sure, there was less of truth and more of fiction and fantasy in what he spoke. but truth never mattered anyone while listening to such tingling stories!

as the day of holi approached, some students told me about the celebration in the campus but i was least interested in being a part of such a celebration.on the other hand, i had great plan of taking rest in my room while let others to play holi.
but life is full of  surprises especially when you are a teenage boy studying in the first year of a college. so, as soon as i rose in the morning, the noises of water fight started. i also heard some voices coming towards my room. they knocked the door. i was a bit scared to open the door of my room. was someone out there with a whole bucket of color just waiting to throw on me? or might be a whole gang was awaiting to attack!
but before i could think more, my friends started banging the door! what should i do now?

" neh! come out.." cried a voice with a big bang. " dont leave him ! no mercy on any one today!"

" neh.. come out" others also joined the voice. they were banging my door so vigorously, i felt, they would break it open! they were keen to ruin my plan of a great lazy day. ok , so be it. i gave up. i lifted my heavy holiday body with a great effort and reached the door.

as soon as i opened the door, i was firmly caught and greeted with colors from all the directions.i simply had no chance to resist. i tried to protect my head and eyes but soon it was over and i became fully colored clad like my friends! we all looked alike! my nose, my eyes and my hairs were studded with color. the boys looked such, even their mothers would not recognize them at first. voice was the only resort to recognize someone! i had no mirror to have a look at myself but the way i was attacked, i had little doubt of looking less horrible than my friends!

when you are tricked you also want others to fall prey to such a trick! in hope of getting such an event soothing my eyes , i looked around. at that moment, i saw setu being mercilessly attacked. he was coming out from the bath area. Although, he probably had taken a full bath just then, the friends dragged him to the open side of the 'c' of the hostel. As i saw, some mud colored students were there awaiting for the prey ! it appeared, they had pre prepared mud on the ground! setu was almost thrown in the mud and his fair skin changed the color within seconds! he hardly resisted the friends. setu's color became one with the horrible looking gang playing holi there!

 so the day started quite unexpectedly.one after the other, the friends were attacked. almost no one was spared from the hostel. the colored friends joined and soon the gang expanded.
' come on neh, let us go' my friends asked me to join the gang. it was first time when, once a gang fearing kid like me, on that day became a part of such a frightening mob! the things that i hated till date- colors, mud, wetness some how poured an eternal joy in my heart. i felt something changed inside. probably that was joy of being one with the friends.my lazy ideas faded before i could think more. instantly, i became equally zealous to join the gang.
psmc has a vast campus spanning about three to four kilometers.our hostels were at one end , the hospital was in the middle and the staff and teachers quarters were at the other end.
Tell me,as a college boy where would you like to attack on the day of holi? of course, the targets were clear.- the teachers and the girls- our class mates and the nursing students! but wait a minute! i hardly was knowing any girl at that time and i do not remember pouring color on any one! neither had i the luxury of getting colored by the soft hands!however, some of my seniors had such a luxury!

 after the girls hostel and the nursing hostel, the mob moved on to the teachers quarters. most of the teachers offered sweets and were very happy to see our gang banging at their homes.it appeared a heavenly celebration.
the fun was still not over. after the exhausting journey, lastly we reached dhobi ghaat. every one threw their mud and color stuck body in the tanks meant for washing the clothes! ouch! the water was cold but who cared such a thing when playing with friends? i must admit till that day, i never had such a holi in whole of my life!
on last note, i must whisper in your ears that some of the gang members took undue [or DUE] advantage of the festival to break in the nursing hostel and color the nursing students. as we heard the rumors, some one said some of the students did more than just throwing color at the nursing girls.
But before criticizing, i must tell you a story of an english film that i remember . the film showed the hero, a medical student, breaking in the girl's hostel after a frenzy of a football match. he was caught and the authorities, especially the dean was very keen to get him severely punished until a good professor showed old records which proved same incident against the dean  when he was a medical student!

fact is more fictitious than the fiction!
history repeats!!

CH 33: A SURPRISE PARTY

For students like me, the struggle for recognition had two facets. one was concerned with my degree and the other was concerned with my own recognition as a person. the college authorities were expected to do everything for the first part while, naturally, for my own recognition, i had to do whatever i could.
as i have elaborated earlier, the groups of like minded (and like funded!)started forming in our class. since we were averse to concept of closed walled groups, we never attempted formally to form any group. so we, i tapasvi and hemant remained aloof from all the groups, ultimately resulting in 'no group' group! our group also consisted students like bimal chhaya- a fanatic proprietor of no group theory, anish shah, chirag shah and of course biren gandhi-my room mate. but truly speaking, our 'no group' group was lacking in girl members.
as far as girls were concerned, hemant was least interested in any such relationship. in fact, though being a fair and chocolaty collegian, he was averse to girls! if any girl tried to take even a glimpse of  his face anytime in the class, his expression remained such, would never dare to speak with him.
for tapasvi, the case was different.It was  not that he was deeply interested in girls, but some how you could find him now and then in between bunch of girls and girls! may be he was very good communicator and knew exactly how and what to speak with girls.though he was a tall but an average guy,  his eyes were very caring and truthful, probably making him a very trust-able man.
in between these two, probably i was on a mid line. not averse to girls like hemant on one side and not a krishna kanhaiya like tapasvi on the other. i was a thin, a bit  dark skinned and serious appearing guy.honestly, i must say, not that i was not interested in girls but i never knew how to speak with them. as i have written earlier, my first experience of talking  with a college girl , that too my own classmate, added to my disability. i felt grossly insulted due to that bizarre event  and feared rejection every time when i talked with any girl.
thus, one day, when beji and jasmine invited us to join with them and to make a group,though facing full resistance from hemant, i was happy.  the original idea of forming a group was of beji.the group was officially formed and consisted jasmine, beji and anu from girls and tapasvi ramesh and me. But unofficially, all my other friends were in a way part of the group since they were joining us in one or other activity of their choice and this included hemant also.
beji was an uncontested dictator of the group activities. she was a keralian christian girl with big and naughty eyes, smiling face and sharp brain. she used to speak many a times in riddles that no one could ever understand (even today, if you wish to cross check my statement, just open up her facebook wall and look at her posts - half of them probably she might not be understanding herself!). still, to our gross irritation, she and jasmine would giggle and would say some words secretly in each other's ears, after such riddles!  she was very out spoken and liked to be at the center of the attention.she was a very confident girl assured of all her qualities. but strangely enough, though she appeared adult, sometimes she behaved like a child. the bottom line for her was - she liked to be liked !
jasmine, looked more like a shadow to beji, had a little desire to get noticed. it was her nature to study study and study. though she had thick glasses, i could notice, her eyes were full of tender innocence.she loved beji as much as she would endorse almost everything said by beji and would do everything to please beji. she was so much influenced by beji, she used to forget even her own independent identity in beji's presence.
to me, their friendship was something that made me feel valued for myself and added some answer to quest of my own recognition.
some times, beji and jasmine had weird ideas. like, on my very first birthday after my entry to psmc, they suddenly appeared on the gate of boys' hostel. it was hot evening time of the august. until now,all my birthdays were celebrated at my home. this was my first birthday away from my home. the whole day had passed like a routine one. how could i imagine, something would happen of such a kind, i would remember the day for the life!
" hello neh! let us go for party!" exclaimed beji and asked us to come for a surprise party. there was a colorful gift packet in her hand. i wondered what was there in! was it really for me?
we were summoned to our lecture hall's terrace. i tapasvi and hemant  climbed exhausting stairs to reach to our beautiful terrace. it was so high, you could feel like to be on a small mountain. since ours was a rural college, once you climb up, the eyes could feast on trees and farms all around, till the skies met the horizon.as the terrace was on the lecture hall there was natural almost forty five degree slope in half of the terrace making it a leisurely place. you could throw your body loose on the slope and enjoy the sun set. our psmc was a college with many couples and lovers - no doubt the terrace had many stories to tell and was full of hidden secrets!
jasmine, beji and anu were waiting for us.the sun was about to set.the air was clean and the terrace was glowing golden with setting sun's light. we all sat in one of the corner of the terrace and a candle was lit urgently.
Until now, i really hated the English way of celebrating the birth days. back at home, i used to celebrate the day with my friends without any kind of candle blowing or singing happy birth day. no friend was allowed to gift me. it was rule to give all something to eat but never a cake or a pastry. i used to ridicule my other friends which celebrated birth day in so called English way.
here, on the same occasion, things were up side down! everything was prepared beforehand. even, they bought some gifts for me. what gifts? they had a small packet nicely covered with a shining decorative paper.
'Hey neh, cone on! what are you waiting for? " looking at my hesitant expression, beji said. i was confused and was thinking if i could deny such a ceremony. but looking at the enthusiasm, it would have been too harsh behavior from me. i did not say anything and simply obeyed the order.
as soon as i blew the candle, all my friends sung "happy birthday"- the song i hated till date. before i could think more, the colorful box was put in my hand.  they asked me to open. to my surprise, there was a kite shaped water push button game of rings and there was a balloon attached with a noise making hollow wood stick.i was stunned.
"what is this?" i said in puzzled voice. what did they think of me? a child of 3yr ? a mentally challenged baby? i really could not understand how to react to it. i accepted it with a bit hesitation.
" cant you see boy?"within seconds, beji snatched my game and showed me how to play, as if i was the most dumb lad available around! she also blew air in the balloon with all her lung capacity and showed me how to blow in the hollow stick to make noise from the gifted balloon!
" so, you can play like this! " said beji tagging the line with her big smile. tapasvi laughed.
think of a situation when you are trying to behave more like a man but pushed by your girl friends to behave like a kid. any way, i had no option but to accept the gifts. i could have said no, but that could have hurt their feelings. i felt, the love and care shown  for me was far more important to respect than to stick to my beliefs and principles. probably that was not the time to have discussion on such a serious topic.
they had brought pastries and something more to eat. every one was happy. i was too! the evening was made special by making each of my friend sing for me something.
i remember, though i never played, i had kept those gifts carefully till recently with utmost care. it was a symbol of love and care showered on me by my new friends of the college. the quest of recognition started taking some shape.

CH 32 : MBBS OR 12TH PASS?

well, the strike was over and i soon joined my routine at psmc. since the time of the admission, i was very well aware of the un recognized status of the mbbs  degree of our college. however,.i and my parents were sure that the college would get recognition by the medical council of india. simlpy because we trusted name of hon. shree h. m. patel, once right hand of sardar patel. more over, there was no other option for me. i had to study at psmc if  i wanted my dream of becoming a doctor to come true. it was last chance for me.

however, many of my friends took the admission with sheer ignorance. like, as for example, my good friend jasmine mehta, opted for psmc leaving all big and recognized medical colleges of gujarat only because her home was just nearby at vallabh vidya nagar. she stood 1st in merit in whole of the anand district and was eligible for admission at any medical college! but unfortunately [and fortunately for me!] her parents never knew what the animal known as MCI looked like!

there were many such students which chose psmc only because of proximity of their home. most of such students were from ahmedabad and vadodara..

it was natural for all the students to feel depressed on the issue of recognition. so, though full of college life, fun and of course studies, our campus at that time had a kind of hidden depression. because, some where deeper in minds of the students the feeling of being un recognized reeled. even in happy moments of any group some one would unknowingly hint at the problem and the moments soon would perish in air.
once, when we were having some happy time, some one spoke of recognition. the discussion was going on at nursing hostel probably at bimal chhaya's room. ketan shah, popularly known as ketan dada, told some stirring technical facts.
" you know, we were knowing this since admission." he said " since we were paying full donation, we know all the technical aspects." all others become silent and his voice grew more serious
" presently, if you pass out even with flying colors, with your mbbs degree from psmc, you are not more than 12th pass student of the state." his statement stunned us." let me tell you no one from us would be able to claim any government job."
"so what hell will we do with such a degree?"
" just think over. we are hoping to get recognition of our mbbs course by medical council of india. till then, we are 12th pass!"
" and what does it mean when they say our course is recognised by the sardar patel university? i know our course is recognised by the university" said some one trying to console the group.
" it means nothing. i mean, you will be recognised graduates of the university but remember no one can practice medicine without recognition from the MCI."
"and why the hell this MCI is not recognizing our college?"
" you see, i tell you the process" ketan dada was son of a very well known surgeon from rajkot. his father and mother were in the profession since years. "any college when demands recognition from the MCI, it invites the inspectors from MCI to show the facilities provided to teach the future doctors. the inspectors would come and tell what still is remaining to comply with the minimum standards. the college would be recognized only when all standards are met."

" and this would be done finally only when our first batch passes out." added vimal hemani, my good friend.
"suppose if the recognition does not come by the time the first batch passes out. what will happen to that batch? "
" that batch would remain 12 th pass!"
" you mean for their life time?"
" no no. it means they would remain 12th pass till our college gets recognition. they would be recognized as doctors retrospectively as a rule." said vimal.
there was silence in the room. all we could to was just to hope for the best.
" presently, the president of MCI is dr ketan desai, our doctor from gujarat university." some one added his knowledge.

so, soon after period of elation of getting in an mbbs course,  this was a shock every one suffered who entered PSMC !

" and what about the post graduation?" a very relevant question.
" but first, tell me, do you really think we would be able to pass this mbbs?" ketan dada's comment made every one laugh. "any way, as of now, our college does not have any post graduate course. and neither we would be eligible for other university's PG course till the MCI recognizes our mbbs first."
"damn! we are trapped "

for me, at that time, just to be a doctor was the goal and post graduation meant nothing. i wanted to be a doctor and that would be served even if i was only an mbbs doctor. but to remain only 12 pass after five and half years blood sucking course? leave me, any one would commit suicide !

thus the waves of depression remained under current. the discussion was not limited to our campus. it gradually came to be a social stigmata. the people around us when asked about our study, we proudly would tell them about our gorgeous medical college. after listening everything, they would say  " okay, so, PSMC ! is that your college? that unrecognized one no?"  and would add " so what are your plans with such a degree?"
we frankly had no answer to such life questions except to keep mum and feel depressed. some one would feel pity on us while some one would say some words of hope. some times even parents of my friends got frustrated because of such discussions around them.
once, out of such frustration, we went to meet dr haridas,  hardly knowing his technical position. he was the head of the department of biochemistry. he was living in a bungalow near the main entrance of the college. he greeted us with a big smile.
"come...welcome..."
" sir what will happen to our recognition?"  we asked in panic.
" i hope soon it would be resolved" said he with wishful thinking. "all are trying their best. we hope to clear the inspection next time." our tender and innocent minds listened to him as if  we were listening to the head of the MCI assuring us!
" and sir, what about our post graduation? our college does not have such courses."
" in that case, government may ask the other colleges to keep five five seats for our students in each  of the medical colleges."
"wow! can this really happen?" sir showed us our day dream.
"may be.. let us hope so.."
though, sir, out of sympathy, showed us a day dream, we all believed in him and went away to our hostel room  and slept nicely that night! the reality was far away from what he said and we were not knowing what challenges we would face in future.

our batch was probably were fourth in a row since the admissions started at the PSMC. the first batch was soon to go for the exams and we were waiting eagerly to see what happened to them.one day, some one said the team of inspectors from the MCI was to come to inspect our college. they were to ascertain the facilities at the college. their duty was to make our education a quality education by forcing the college authorities to provide minimum needed facilities.

the atmosphere of the campus became charged with buzz of issue of recognition. what facilities did our college have at that time? briefly, the college building was already like a new bride. the hospital was functioning since a few years more than the year of start of the college. our college had a vast campus, big and well designed building for running not only all the needed departments but also a good library and indoor sports facilities for the students. ( not mentioning dark corners and open huge terraces essential for lovers and official couples!).

our library was studded with big big cupboards stuffed with thick and horrible medical books. the journal section was rich with probably all possible uninteresting books subscribed from world over.
. we had a huge play ground surrounded by eucalypti trees on one side and mango trees on the other.same way, we had rainbow of teachers in each of the departments starting from head to tails. the labs had adequate equipment and experts of the subjects. all the teachers of the 1st mbbs were full timers. looking at all these, we felt, how any inspector could deny us recognition? what was lacking then?

even if being students of first mbbs, we used to go to the hospital sometimes just out of curiosity. our shri krishna hospital was a big hospital with all the major departments functioning with full time staff. the hospital had different wards. but that is where we saw the problem.since ours was a rural medical college away from any populated city, the patient turn over of our hospital was low. we used to see hardly a few patients admitted  in wards.to be a good doctor, a medical student ought to be exposed to large number of patients.

when the dates approached, the college authorities started organizing health check up camps in near by villages and poured indoor patients in our hollow empty hospital wards to make up the needed number of patients ! we saw buses coming in our campus bringing people for admissions. god only could say how many of them were real patients! our wards looked like hospital wards first time ever since we joined.

i do not remember seeing the most wanted and still probably most disliked inspectors from the MCI but i do remember how depressed we felt when the news of denial of recognition arrived in the campus after few days of interval after the inspection.

there were different versions to explain. some people said, since h.m. patel was an honest man, he refused any favor to the inspectors and their bosses. some one said, dr ketan desai, the president of the MCI,  had some personal account to be settled with one of our senior professor. there were so many theories.hardly a few believed our college really lacked the facilities.

this was just start of the torture. we had to face the inspection by the MCI almost every year. plight of a student working hard in such an unrecognized institute can be understood only by his or her fellow students.

CH 31: MY ARTS COLLEGE

It has been now 22 yrs since I joined pramukhswami medical college. I do not remember why but there came a period of strike just after a few months of joining the college. It was the time when all of us just were getting familiar with each other and strengthening our new friendships.

As soon as the strike announced, all the students, freshly sick about their homes, departed immediately. I also left for bhuj. i promised my new friends tapasvi, hemant, biren, jasmine shah and others to keep in touch by letters. That time the world was devoid of any kind of mobiles! So forget about sms!

When I arrived back in my beautiful home town bhuj, apart from roaming around leisurely with friends, I had nothing to do. i already was awerse to reading medical books. There are only a few rare occasions in life when you wish to do something just to kill the time. It was such a time for me.

Three decades back, bhuj had only one arts cum science college and one commerce college. Both were and are on the same road and so the road is rightly known as the college road in bhuj.

The r. r. lalan college was one of the oldest and as old as my parents graduated from that college. Those of my 12th std friends opted to do B.sc. had to go to lalan college. Just to kill time and have some college fun, I joined my school friends suresh, yogesh and started attending the lectures at lalan college.

The college was a few kilometers away from the main city. I never had any vehicle and I used to enjoy riding my grandfather’s tall bicycle to join my friends in their college. The college campus was vast. After entering the campus, one had to go a kilometer or so to reach the red college building.the college was big but it was in many ways different than my college. it was big, but ill maintained. the corners were studded with waste papers, used ball pens etc.

while there were limited students in my college, i saw big herds of students in lalan college near every lecture all and corridors. in my college, boys and girls were seen freely interacting with each other. here, the groups of boys and girls were mostly seen non interacting. probably there was no social approval of good friendship between boys and girls. my friends told me most of such friendships were haunted by gossips.

the class rooms were big enough to accomodate about 100 students. but students were probably far more and each class was grossly over crowded. i remember a few lectures i attended. one day i went to a sanskrit class. the lady lecturer was a new one. she was to teach famous story by kalidas 'abhigyan shakuntalam'. it is a love story.

the class was full of students. all were talking to each other and there was big noice. some students were standing and some were still coming in while a few were going out. the big windows were good enogh to bring fresh oxygen for all of us and were also giving panoramic view of the beautiful campus outside. however, windows mainly were used to interact with friends peeping in from out side. entry of the lecturer hardly made any difference to the activities going on in the class ! the roll call was done and taking advantage of the chaos, many said "yes madam" on behalf of their friends wandering somewhere else! the crowd was such that it was imposiible for the lecturer to confirm.

the lecturer had some notes with her and she started speaking something from it. some good boys shouted "stop noice stop noice "to help the novice teacher. the noice lessened but coming in going out and peeping from windows continued. the lecturer was heard till a few feets.i was within that range.as she taught further a sanskrit word "paurush" was repeated again and again. succumbing to my nature, i stood up and asked "madam what is the meaning of paurush could you please explain for me?"

my question was totally un expected for her.it struck to her from out of blue.i was confident that it would be impossible for her to recognise me as an outside student. she was silent for a few moments letting the noice and chaos in class to increase. then she said paurush was a king and it also means a man. the answere not only dis satisfyied me but also the class. i really was astonised to find a lecturer in sanskrit unable to explain word paurush.

Not all class were same. husband of my 12th std chamistry teacher jyotiben, dr. trivedi was a prof of psychology and i attended his class after taking his due permission. that class was totally different and just like was any of class in my college. students sat with pin drop silence and greeted the prof by standing up as he came in.

" dear students, " said sir " before going for today's topic, let me tell you there is one guest student in our class, " he pointed at me "nehal  is a student of mbbs but out ou curiosity of the subject he has joined you friends today. i welcome him.."  i thanked sir by bowing by head to him. it feels very strange when all of the class suddenly starts staring at you. i took some time to settle my heartbeats ! sir's lecture was fine and like a learned artist playing his favorite instrument.

the experience in the lalan college thus was mixed. however, i also went to commerce college with my friends wich was couple of kilometers away from the lalan college. the atmosphere there was almost same.at commerce college, i had luxury to attend lecture of lecture of our respected professor dr vakhat sinh jadeja. he was teaching english to college students. and to my surprise, he had to teach from very basics as if he was teaching primary school children! i remember asking him a question in the class and he was so happy to answere it!

whenever i see any college, i always wonder wether the courses provided in such institutes have any meaning for leading a productive life. wether it confers even basic knowledge of living life, leave the honesty and mirality away. arts commerce and even science colleges add nothing to life except degrees.they eat away important years of our young generation. i feel all the courses should have either meaning in life or some kind of vocation. i feel no thrill to learn kalidasa when i know  that no one outside is going to offer me even a clerk's job even if i recite whole of the abhigyaan shakuntalam! i definately would enjoy learning it if it means getting creative writer's job in a news paper or something. 

meanwhile, the strike was to get over in my college. i had written quite a lot letters to my new friends and they also had replied to my pleasure. i still have copies some of those letters !

CH 30 :NEHRU'S FOLLOWER IN PANCHVATI THE SLUM

For me, going to panchvati slum every week became a ritual to feed my soul with my dreams and ambition to serve the needy. Amongst all my friends, I was one of the most regular in visiting panchvati. As I described earlier, panchvati was a typical slum with all the bad and a few good qualities. to be good friends was one of such good qualities they had. As our visits became regular, people started trusting us more. many became our friends and started sharing about their life.

Most of the people of panchvati worked in the farms nearby. Some had little jobs at karamsad. Many were not employed at all.so It was nothing surprising to see some one jobless. however, those which worked, they had to work very hard to earn their bread and butter.

While most of the workers looked tired in the evening, There was one man of around 50 yrs, which looked afresh most of the times. also, he had better hut and better clothes than his counter parts. his hut was just in front of our slum clinic. i really wondered as to what he was doing to make such a living?
" hey, kaka,may i ask you a personal question? what do you do for living?" one day i asked him ultimately, when he was leisurely passing by our clinic.
" me? " he stopped.
"yes kaka. i never have seen you working. how do you make living?" i exclaimed my curiosity completly to him.
he stood still for a while. might be he was hesitant to reveal. probably he might be a retired man living on his son's income that he disliked to reveal i guessed. i felt my question was too personal and intrudive. i thought i should not have asked such a personal question.
after a few seconds he made up his mind to reveal the secret. "my son, do you know? when i was young, there was a great leader..."
-leader of his times? hey, what is he up to? would he talk about some swamiji? a bhagat? or might be ganghiji? no no. he might not even know gandhiji. his talk made me more eager.
" yes kaka.."i said trying to hide my curiosity.
" his name was javaharlal nehru.." wow! kaka knew nehru! what a blow!
"he used to tell all the indians to go back to villages and start gruh udyog (small scale business managed totally at home). this would uplift not only your family but also your village and the state and the nation ultimately..." he gestured totality with both of his hands to mark his point.
"so my son, i decided to start a gruh udyog here. that is what i do for living..." he smiled. i never knew he was such a great man! His hut was just in front of our clinic and we were totally unaware of his gruh udyog. but what exactly was he doing? should i ask him to show us? his talk gave me more confidence.
" that is simply great kaka! we never knew it! but can you allow us to see your gruh udyog?" i was eager to see and so i asked him.
Again he looked in a bit confusion. might be, he was doing some gruh udyog like making papad or khakhra that is mainly percieved as women's work and so he was again hesitant. again he needed some more time to think on my demand. probably he was making up his mind to say no.
" okay son i will show you what gruh udyog i run." he agreed.
" thanks a lot kaka! may we, i and my friend tapasvi come with you right now?" i jumped immediately.
" that will not be feasible. you can come next week when next time you come here in your clinic.you need to come in the late evening." it was difficult to wait till next visit but there was no option.

Usually, we worked at panchvati in evening. After finishing our routine clinic or some community work, we used to return to our hostel at around 7.30 pm. we could visit kaka after that time.

that evening, while returning from panchvati, curiosity about kaka's gruh udyog had studded my mind. i and tapasvi talked about the kaka on the way wondering about his gruh udyog. the man was really great as he came to his village just for following advice of our great first prime minister.

and again the day came. i and tapasvi both were eager to reach to panchvati and go to kaka's hut to see his gruh udyog. both of us started our routine work. while examining patients, suddenly we heard a big cry outside. the voice was of some old lady. both of us ran out side our hut clinic along with our other friends.the cry was from the next street. we ran in that direction.

we saw an old lady of about sixty loudly cursing her husband for something.she was standing outside her hut and her old husband was on char pai -cot- sitting loosely with dirty clothes. the grandma was shouting and her husband who appeared half asleep, was probably not listening to her at all! to our surprise nobody but it was only us who ran out for the shouting.

we all were puzzled as to what to do. a local from nearby hut came to us to solve our confusion.

" just leave them..." he gestured at the old couple." both of them are drunk and this is their daily business..." damn! what kind of people they were! drunk every evening and quarreling?As i saw them again i immediately recognized the grandma. she was none other than one which was coming to our hostel in evening to sell carrots cucumber and tomatoes.she used to sit at the big gate of our girl's hostel and was very popular amongst girls. all used to call her "masi". she was very keen in observing the boys and girls. some times her awkward comments were enough to give a spark to quarrel.it was her routine to come to our campus daily.

and here she was buying liquor daily from that money she earned from the hostels! really, such kind of people waste even something they have. it was pity she and her husband both could get the liquor. some one must be supplying the whole area. home service like milk man!

masi's shouting lessened, as she started crying.for all the neighbors, this was probably routine. no one seemed concerned about her crying. rather, some people were smiling looking at the poor old lady.

i had heard about the ill effects of liquor- physical economical and here i was witnessing social. i felt liquor must be banned. no one should be able to get it. for masi, apart from witnessing her sorrows, we were unable help. gradually her crying lessened and we went back to our work. we felt very sorry for the old couple.yes, we forgot kaka's invitation to go to see his gruh udyog because of this mess. we remembered suddenly when we were packing up our clinic.

"hey,tapasvi we almost forgot kaka's invitation today. let us go." i told tapasvi
"yes. that masi's cry made us forget even our souls! it still hurts inside.any way, let us go to kaka." said tapasvi.

kaka was sitting outside his hut on char pai in his routine clothes. he was expecting us. he stood up as he saw us coming.
" ram ram kaka." we greeted him.
"ram ram. come here with me." kaka gestured to come into his hut.
his hut was a typical one of a slum with a few steps to climb to enter a chali outside. the door was little smaller than needed for an average adult to enter. i had to bend my head but tall tapasvi needed to bend whole of his body to pass from the door!

there was small main room poorly lit with tungsten bulb. there hardly was any furniture. walls were studded with photos of different gods and goddesses. a kitchen was attached to main room that hardly could accommodate a person.there was small window in the main room.
kaka guided us further in again from a small door. the room we entered had no windows to my surprise. kaka stopped near a steel drum of about half a meter hight. the drum was kept on a chulha. fire was lit with sticks below. smoke was filling up the whole room from the burning sticks. drum was tightly closed and a pipe was coming out towards a glass bottle kept at some distance from the chulha. some clear liquid was coming out from the open end of the pipe along with some steam. a white big funnel was kept to stop spillage outside the bottle.

" now tell me boys isn't it like your laboratory in your college?" said kaka in proud voice. "when i was young, javaharlal nehru told the youth to go back to their villages and start their own gruh udyog." he went near his assembly and put his hand under the end of the pipe to get a few drops of the liquid he was making.
"see? it is pure!" he showed his hand to us.
"what is this kaka?" looking at the hand smeared with the liquid, i inquired.it was smelling bad like a hell.
"don't you know? this is liquor!" kaka opened up the damn secret! so this was his gruh udyog! it was nothing unbelievable but surely it was unexpected. tapasvi looked less surprised than me may be because he had seen mone villages than me.i really was surprised.kaka, a hero for me just before a few minutes suddenly turned villain! he might have his own excuses for staring such a devilish production center. but no excuse can be entertained for any work that can ruin lives of other poor people.
" i will show you how to check when it is perfectly ready." kaka started enjoying his show. "i learnt all this when i was young at ahmedabad." he extended a small container under the open end of the pipe to get a few drops in it. he put it on the floor and lit it with a match stick. biff! the liquid caught fire immediately.
" can you see? if it is ready and pure, it will immediately catch fire.i take utmost care for the quality." kaka explained his deep knowledge.with a blow of air from his mouth, he extinguished the fire.
" when nehru told the youth, i was wondering as to what could be done by me at my village. then i learnt this. this is my small scale business." he was as proud as any self made business man. i and tapasvi both were speechless. technically, kaka had created a wonder despite the fact that he never had seen a school. but morally, was he right? the law of land in gujarat would not permit sell or making of liquor. but what would we say if an industrialist starts an official plant of making wine out side gujarat? lawful? simply because he could throw money to make it lawful? difficult question to answer.
kaka showed his business with zeal.thank heavens, he did not offer us free treat of his pure product!

now i could understand from where did the masi and her husband got the ticket to hell. in fact, On the way from panchvati to our hostel, we used to see a lot of whitish empty plastic bags. I wondered about those bags. In those days, plastic bags were not as commonly seen as today. In fact, the plastic revolution had not started yet.I had seen such bags, as I remembered, in bad lonely streets of bhuj. Some of my friends had told me such bags were used to pack locally made liquor. There used to have very typical rotten grape or jaggery like smell in the air around areas where such bags were thrown. Same smell and same bags were seen on the way back from panchvati to our hostel. the major waste seen in and around the ugly pond was of these bags.

naturally when production was local, it was very easy to get. but weren't they worried of police and jail? not at all. gradually it came our knowledge police used to come to panchvati, not to arrest people but to get hapta! so no tension for those making or taking! some times they used to stop their business for sometime to restart again after new setting. we heard that panchvati was notorious for this and they were supplying to even agents at ahmedabad!!