CH 21 :SECRETS OF BOYS’ HOSTEL : TIFFIN BOMB ?

SECRETS OF BOYS’ HOSTEL : TIFFIN BOMB ?


Bhargav, my classmate and lobby partner was very witty and he had a lot of sense of humor. After the college, we used to have routine discussions on many topics. Bhargav told us many jokes and one liner.

“You know Neh, any movement on this earth by any creature is because of one of the three main reasons- fear, food and female.” Standing at my room’s door, as he used to, bhargav revealed one of the basic rules of nature.

“Yes bhargav! You are right. But every creature ultimately needs female!” added biren.

“No yaar, all three what bhargav said are basic motive and you can not compare them” tapasvi was clear about his idea.

“See man, As far as we are concerned, we fools study because of fear of failure which might deprive us from getting food and probably also might starve us from female in future! So ultimately- damn female!” biren was some times unbeatable in argument.

Think of a situation when you see all your friends in other branches enjoying their college days bunking almost every lecture, enjoying films now and then and have a lot of time to spend for chit chat. At the similar times you, carrying load of books in big bag on your back, are every week trying to get through hell of vivas and exams. Karamsad was a kind of a lonesome place because it was a village and was away from city. Even if one wished to entertain oneself with routine collegian stuff, there were no such facilities nearby. Still, there was an open air theatre ‘jalaram’ mostly showing cheap gujarati movies and a few tea-pakoda cabins outside the collage gate. So arguments, counter arguments and discussions were big part of our daily entertainment programme.

There was no escape from this situation at least for students like me as my home was far away from karamsad. However, my friends from ahmedabad and baroda had great escape every week. That movement to home also had a component of food and female.

On Saturdays ,you would find most of the students going to the college with big bags on their back carrying clothes to get washed, empty dabbas to be refilled with home made food(breakfast), and books perhaps to read (which never happened at home for most of the boys!).
Females, well, were the extra attraction at journey. It was nice time for the boys and girls to interact in the train. Like my room mate tapasvi and lobby partner jasmine shah, many of my friends were seen surrounded by gopis in the train. Still, there were many ‘left outs’ from having such luxury. Some of them had better ideas. They used to sit on the top berth of the train compartment, making sure to watch ‘birds’ from the height ensuring their eyes to reach unreachable places.

The students would sprint back to PSMC on Monday. They would come rushing, throw their bags in the hostel room and would run to the college. But Mondays were also special for other reason. Most of the students would bring breakfast from home, given in enough amounts so that they can use it for the whole week. However the tasty items from home hardly lasted a day or two. This was because the items were shared with all others.
No one ever taught us ‘sharing is caring’ but it was very natural for all the students. Amdavadi and barodian students perhaps contributed greatest to this tradition as they went home almost every weekend, negating very much ‘amdavadi haramjaadi’! For this reason, hardly any one’s cupboard was left out with any stuff within couple of days. Even lobby partners were called to taste any new items from home.

However, there were exceptions. One chap in nursing hostel [the temporary boys’ hostel in our time] was very clear about his policy. He straight forward used to say, ‘my mother has sent all this for the week and she said not to share this with any one’. Accordingly he used to push his head in his cupboard daily morning so that he could enjoy it all alone for the whole week! His partners, stunned at his behavior initially, gradually accepted that.

Related to food, the following story was told to me by others in the hostel of PSMC. It was claimed true but I can not claim the same. Obviously, I have changed the true names of the said real characters. However apart from the presentation, the said facts are kept as they were told to me...So I start with following scene…


“Hello friend! Welcome back to hostel...” Jagesh was greeted as he returned from home after a few days leave

Jagesh, busy in arranging his luggage back to his cupboard, simply nodded yes.

“Guys, I also have returned today from home. My mother has sent nice home made kachori, ganthia and laddus for all of us. Come here! Join us Jagesh!” Jagesh’s room mate maheep invited jagesh.

“Tasty! May I get one more kachori?” Balu, third room partner, eating with Jagesh admired “you can have surti items from my bag. Get them out.” He added.

This was usual scene anywhere in the hostel. But for jagesh, the sharing was unilateral phenomenon.


“What have you brought Jagesh?” sniffing something tasty, maheep was eager.
“Nothing guys! It was difficult to bring any thing from that far.” joining the laddu party after arranging his luggage, Jagesh negated.

“Tell us man! We saw you eating something from your cupboard last time you returned from your home! You gave the same today’s answer that day also. Is it that you dislike to share?” Balu had a sneaking suspicion. His observation was substantiated my many other lobby partners too. And that was repeated every time whenever Jagesh returned from his home.

“Oh! Not at all, why should I behave like that? You both are my fast friends.” chewing kachori, Jagesh explained in muffling voice.

“May we check you cupboard?” now maheep became intrusive.
“No no! No need. There are only clothes and books. Don’t you believe me?” Jagesh said as he completed the last laddu.

“Ok we believe you.” And soon the party was over.

Jagesh went to bathroom.

“Maheep let us do something for this liar. It would have been fair on his part if he told us the truth .but I feel, this guy is simply a liar” Balu was sure about the smell from Jagesh’s luggage.
“But how can we screw him?” maheep scratched his head.
Balu thought for a while.

“Yes! I have an idea…listen …” and thus a plan was hatched. To jagesh’s great misfortune, balu was one of the greatest mischief makers of their batch.
That day, when Jagesh went to library, a green signal was given not only to maheep but also to some of the lobby partners.

“Come on guys! Break open the cupboard. This special party is sponsored by none other than our great room mate Jagesh!” announced Balu.

Within a few minutes the lock was broken and within seconds to that all friends found the much sought treasure – Jagesh’s hidden banquet!

“Balu was right! Jagesh is a complete liar!” throwing the treasure to friends maheep said. “Ask others to join the feast. We alone can not complete these all”
The feast was grand. Not because the food stuff was very tasty but perhaps the stolen stuff was tastier or more over, the taste of ‘tit for tat’ was beyond capacity of the group’s taste buds!

Soon, everything was over. The cupboard was re arranged and closed. Every one dispersed just to eagerly wait for the scene when Jagesh returned from the library.

“Hey maheep, my cupboard is wrecked by some one! Who did this?” shocked by the broken lock Jagesh’s tongue slipped “and which rascals ate my whole week’s breakfast?”

“What breakfast?” assuming innocence maheep said “you did not bring any eatables from home. You told us today morning. Didn’t you?”

Sensing the trap, immediately Jagesh had to save himself “oh yaar! I forgot there was nothing here. You are right.”

Maheep gestured his eye to Balu and gave a winning smile. “Jagesh just make sure your books and clothes are not stolen”

Not understanding how to react to this situation, Jagesh answered “they are very much ok”

Every participant cupboard raider had a great laugh that night. But this was not the end. There was some thing more to happen.

Jagesh was not taking his meals at the student mess. His Tiffin used to come from karamsad. Many a times, tired Jagesh would come from the college in after noon and would find his tiffin empty! And no one would be ready to reveal the identity of the robber despite Jagesh’s marathon efforts at inquiry.

Routinely, a maid would come to take back all the empty tiffins. She would clean the tiffins so that they could be re filled and re sent at evening.

On one bad day for Jagesh, a maid came with his tiffin and she said she wanted to have word with him. As soon as she saw him she greeted him with a load of surtis! This was totally unexpected on Jagesh’s part! Puzzled and stupefied, Jagesh could not figure out what went so wrong with the maid. The discourse lasted until all the rage of the maid transformed to her choicest surti. Naturally, all others enjoyed the episode. After much of persuasion and explanation from Jagesh’s side consisting mainly words like “I do not know, I have not done this, I am sorry,” and gestures of apology, the maid was convinced to continue her services for him.


It was obvious for maheep to ask Balu about his role in this incident. Balu smiled. Gestured with his eye and whispered “today, I not only ate his tiffin but also put a tiffin bomb back in it!”
“What?”
Balu’s eyes sparked mischief as he said:
“A condom”

CHAPTER TWENTIETH :SECRETS OF BOYS' HOSTEL : FOOLS WITHOUT APRIL

well friends, i was trying to write about our awesome experiences at panchvati slum with dr rajesh metha. but 1st april reminded me some events in our hostel. so over to hostel room no 19 new boys' hostel, psmc campus!

i have had little chance to mention something about my room partner biren, i mean, biru dada to put it more correctly! myself, tapasvi and biren remained room partners from day one to throughout our mbbs years.biren was from gandhinagar and his father was a govt servant. his complexion was a bit dark like me and was little short than me in height.he had typical amdavadi speech.while tapasvi was a giant, myself and biren were thin and lean weighing hardly some fifty kilos at that time.

biren used to speak very less-only when needed.but he had sound knowledge of the world he was living with. while i and tapasvi were living in our own dream world sometimes, biru was always in real world.far more practical.

"you know neh, why we all do study?" once he asked me.
" so that we be doctors."i answered wondering why he asked such a question.
"oh really? you mean is that the goal?" he really had something in his mind.
"what else?" i scratched my head.
"see, i can prove something else.' he smiled. okay, now he would reveal the secret.
"neh, you study and you will be doctor after sometime. so what next will you do?" he said.
"i will get some good job and will practice." i had a plain answer.
"and then? no plan to earn some money?"
"naturally, i will earn my salary."
"is that all? what next?" he was playing game.
"that is all...and then...." nothing more i could think.so i said"probably i will marry"- "yess! thats it!" he promptly interrupted my answer with sparks in both of his eyes.
" so neh, you have learnt a lesson. we all study ultimately to marry." he laughed and folded both his hands to make a heart shape and again spoke loudly "ULTIMATELY TO MARRY....!"

biren never used to hide his innate feelings despite speaking less. he had stuck a big cut out of his favorite heroine on his cupboard.he used to goto his home gandhinagar every week and used to bring a lot of tasty breakfast and college gossips especially about girls to share with us.

one late evening, when biren, myself and tapasvi were chatting in our room no 19 after routine tasteless dinner, one of our good friend entered our room. biren was sitting on a study table with support of his hands behind, while i was sitting on my cot and tapasvi was in his chair.
"whats up friends?" our friend appeared very happy somehow that day.
"nothing yaar, just chatting" i answered.
"hey biren, what is there near your left hand?" our friend asked biren pointing to a small glass bottle having some white crystals inside.
"you mean this?" biru swiftly lifted the bottle in his hand and pretended to examine it very carefully by taking it near his eyes. "this is...salt. simple salt." he stretched the word salt five times the normal.
" i think there is sugar in it."our good friend opined as he neared biru.
" hey man, do not try to taste it" biru hid the glass bottle with his hand behind him as if it was something like sugar admixed with real diamond powder.
"oh really? see, i cannot be fooled like this. i know it is sugar and you are teasing me." said our good friend.
"why should i lie to you? this is saaalt and i am not giving it to you at any cost."biru started controlling the mind game.

"you give me and i will prove myself." a bit agitated, out good friend rushed to the bottle.biru transfered the bottle from one hand to the other ans stretched that hand away from our good friend. our good friend tried to snatch the bottle, the struggle went on for a few seconds.
"ok ok.."said biru ultimately "you won. there is sugar in the bottle. i will give it to you but for god's sake, do not taste it!" biru threw his last yorker of the mind game.

our good friend, because of biru, had become so desperate to prove himself, grabbed the glass bottle from biru's hand.he opened it within milliseconds and threw the white powder directly in his wide open mouth.

ouch!! his mouth was full of salt! the muscles of the face of our good friend were stretched to all possible directions to make a horrible look of his face which we never would forget!!

at another occasion, one of our good friend was boasting a lot about himself and to his gross misfortune,biru heard it. all of us including some of our lobby parters were there in our hostel room no 19. our room was something about 20*12 ft spacious with the cots and three study tables.from the balcony, we could see jungle of our eukeliptus trees. it was beautiful scene.

i have forgotten the exact topic of conversation, but our good friend was boasting about himself being a real man.
"man, you have to stand up for the cause you feel if you are a real man! i do it and face the world.i never step back. a real man like me can shape his own future in his own way! i tell you, only a few man like me are having such capacity." he was preaching all of us as how a man should behave and how should he make himself.
biru listened to his version of being a man for a few minutes.then, without looking at our good 'real man' friend, said in a plain voice " see man, i do not understand whatever you are saying about yourself. the world will believe you a man only when you have something really between your two legs!"

"hey do you mean i don't have it?" suddenly our good friend's attention shifted to the unexpected attack.all of us were just stunned by biru's attack.
" i never said that but what i said is an ancient fact.i will have reasons to believe you otherwise, if you don't have that." my good friend was sucked in the argument.

"leave this! i can prove i am a man anytime" now our friend was almost screamed.
"oh really? how can we believe you? if you ask me, i will not believe anything without proof." still biru was purposefully looking away from our good friend just to drive him mad!

'you have your chance today to prove.prove it the way i tell you" what biru was up to? asking him to strip naked or something in front of all of us? i could not believe it!

"why should i prove it to you? who are you?" our good friend's face was seen grossly irritated

"relax man! i am nothing."biru chuckled " if you wish, you can prove or otherwise.."

"-what otherwise?"our good friend stood up in excitement almost to attack biru.
"hey if you hit me that is not going to prove you a real man..."biru went a step back. " see....otherwise all these friends of ours will have chance believe what i believe right now for you..!" pointing a finger to all of us biru said

our good friend gazed us. we all probably looked serious to him. his face also turned serious.

"okay, what should i do?" he asked biru accepting the challenge.

"nothing. just show it!"
"show what?"
" the vital masculine part of your body that you are missing in my opinion!" biru was a cold blooded killer!

"no. that never can happen" he resisted almost screaming.
" see friends? i am right!" biru smiled.
"no! "he shouted " i am a real man!"
"then prove it!"
our good friend was highly agitated and was breathing fast. he looked desperate to prove himself.
"okay,okay..calm down... i have a suggestion.. "all looked biren with eager faces. what suggestion?
"you can show that to me in private and i will tell all the friends if you are a real man."

our good friend seemed puzzled but for him, i guessed, the suggestion was better than to strip in front of all of us.

"come on!" biru swiftly opened the door to balcony. still looked puzzled, our good friend went to biru and the door was closed.what was happening?

after couple of minutes,as we waited eagerly, the door opened.

"he really showed me!" exclaimed biru. " i never expected you such a fool!" biru told our good friend.
he looked very confused and depressed. his face blushed red. we could not stop laughing as we saw him.

" i really do not know" our good friend probably spoke to himself as grasped his head with both of his hands and threw his loose body on one of the cot. "why i did this at all? why did i listened to biru at all? but why me?"




what a mind game biru could play and win and could make fools without April!

CHAPTER NINETEENTH: A PIECE OF CLOTH ?

A PIECE OF CLOTH ?

At one age the world is black and white for you. Your heroes are clear and so are the villains. The confusion starts as the age advances. The thickness of gray belt in between the black and white world increases ultimately to engulf most of the black and white area as you grow. When you are young and tender, your definition of patriotism would also be black and white. Thus it was our firm belief - If you are a true patriot, you must hoist your national flag with due respect.

When we found out no one was going to hoist the national flag on 15 august in our college, it was shocking to most of the batch mates. For all of us, doubtlessly, the dean office was black

“How is this possible?” I exclaimed. “Ours is such a big medical college, still, the college authority has not even cared to make a pole for the purpose!”

“We must do something for this” supported tapasvi.

“Not possible, yaar! Today is 14. It will not be possible for us to arrange everything in such a short time”

The fact was exposed just on the 14 august. There never had been any flag hoisting before. The dean office perhaps never thought of celebrating the event. And possibly no one from our senior batches demanded the celebration.
An immediate meeting of our batch was called to crack the matter. Almost all agreed to do whatever possible to hoist the tri color Indian national flag.

Kapil, vimal, bimal, tapasvi, biren and all other friends were very zealous and fanatical for flag hoisting.

“Let us rush to khadi gram udyog to buy a flag” suggested kapil

“Damn it! It is already evening and the store would be closed. No flag - no hoisting!” said vimal looking at his wrist watch, expessing his anger for being late. We were hopeless. We did not have pole at first place and now even not the flag!
“I have one idea...” suddenly a spark flashed in bimal’s eyes. “Let us get the tri color cloth from the market and we can ask any tailor to make a flag for us”
“That is good idea. But what about the ashok chakra?” vivek had doubts.
“That we can draw with our own hand!” suggested ketan finally resolving the problem.

“So boys! Let us run…!”

The over zealous boys made teams and all took different responsibilities. One team rushed to anand to fetch the tri color cloth. Another one went to karamsad to ask the tailor to open his shop in emergency to join the cloth to make the flag. The girl’s team started inviting the seniors and the teachers.

I and tapasvi went to dr. shishir Gandhi, asst. prof. of medicine and head of student’s committee.

“Is this so?” dr gandhi was really surprised “are you sure? Do we not have even a single pole to hoist the flag in our college?”

“Yes sir. But now we want to hoist the flag tomorrow. Kindly install one pole in emergency” we requested from the depth of our heart. Looking at the young enthusiastic boys, dr. Gandhi probably realized the urgent need for pole.

“ok.ok. but can you suggest the place? I can immediately ask workers to install” he assured.

“Yes sir .the easiest and most feasible place is just on the top of the college entrance.” We suggested. Dr Gandhi saved our hearts. He immediately sent a worker along with us.

We jumped on the top of the college entrance and showed the place. The work started immediately. – Hurray! What an achievement!

Next step was to invite some proper person to do flag hoisting. Since the dean was out of the station, we requested dr. mazoomdar, head of the deptt Of physiology, to hoist the flag.
“Sir you must wear Gandhi topi to salute the flag”

“GANDEE topi? Yes. I will arrange for that” sir spoke with his atypical speech agreeing to our demand.

In mean time our friends back at hostel got the tri color cloth sieved from the tailor (tailor’s house and shop was just beside sardar patel’s birth place, karamsad). They had other problems.

“Can any one tell me? How many lines are there in ashok chakra? 18? 22? 24?” bimal was confused. “If the flag is not properly made, we can not hoist such a flag. It would be rather an insult to the nation.” He expressed fear. We had to search our memories back to school days.

“I am sure the number is 24. I surely remember our text book of the ‘nagreek shashtra’! ”asserted kapil confidently and the work started. Bimal and the team worked al most over night and made a beautiful ashok chakra in the centre of the flag. The flag was ready late at mid night. Every one was tired but no one was feeling so. Finally the flag was shining – even in our tender hearts. We all were amazed as how beautiful our national flag looked. Was it because we made it by our own?

The next issue was how to fold the flag so that it opens properly at the time of hoisting. I had some idea. But we rehearsed the process to avoid any fiasco in the morning.

Now everything was ready. All of us really felt we have done our best to see that their beloved mother land is duely respected in our college on the Independence Day.

Thus came the auspicious morning of the first 15 august of the college. Every one- teachers, seniors, juniors, clerical staff - gathered in front of the college gate. We did not have loud speakers, decorative materials, costly flowers but we definitely had the zeal and enthusiasm to respect the motherland, amounted more than any thing that money could buy.

The ceremony was completed in a few minutes. A few of the people like kadri did not turn up. Later, he gave his clear opinion that weather to come or not for flag hoisting could not amount to his patriotism.

Hemant, my close friend and a real patriot, was out of station on the 15th august. When he returned from his home and heard the entire story, he really felt unhappy.

“Did you make the flag with ideal measurements? No. damn you fools! The flag must be of proper size. Otherwise it is not the national flag at all! You have hoisted only a piece of cloth!”

“But hemant. Just look at the way every one worked together overnight. Look at the emotions attached to that piece of cloth made by us. It makes that cloth as precious as the national flag.” But I never could convince him for this. Perhaps till today!