CH 33: A SURPRISE PARTY

For students like me, the struggle for recognition had two facets. one was concerned with my degree and the other was concerned with my own recognition as a person. the college authorities were expected to do everything for the first part while, naturally, for my own recognition, i had to do whatever i could.
as i have elaborated earlier, the groups of like minded (and like funded!)started forming in our class. since we were averse to concept of closed walled groups, we never attempted formally to form any group. so we, i tapasvi and hemant remained aloof from all the groups, ultimately resulting in 'no group' group! our group also consisted students like bimal chhaya- a fanatic proprietor of no group theory, anish shah, chirag shah and of course biren gandhi-my room mate. but truly speaking, our 'no group' group was lacking in girl members.
as far as girls were concerned, hemant was least interested in any such relationship. in fact, though being a fair and chocolaty collegian, he was averse to girls! if any girl tried to take even a glimpse of  his face anytime in the class, his expression remained such, would never dare to speak with him.
for tapasvi, the case was different.It was  not that he was deeply interested in girls, but some how you could find him now and then in between bunch of girls and girls! may be he was very good communicator and knew exactly how and what to speak with girls.though he was a tall but an average guy,  his eyes were very caring and truthful, probably making him a very trust-able man.
in between these two, probably i was on a mid line. not averse to girls like hemant on one side and not a krishna kanhaiya like tapasvi on the other. i was a thin, a bit  dark skinned and serious appearing guy.honestly, i must say, not that i was not interested in girls but i never knew how to speak with them. as i have written earlier, my first experience of talking  with a college girl , that too my own classmate, added to my disability. i felt grossly insulted due to that bizarre event  and feared rejection every time when i talked with any girl.
thus, one day, when beji and jasmine invited us to join with them and to make a group,though facing full resistance from hemant, i was happy.  the original idea of forming a group was of beji.the group was officially formed and consisted jasmine, beji and anu from girls and tapasvi ramesh and me. But unofficially, all my other friends were in a way part of the group since they were joining us in one or other activity of their choice and this included hemant also.
beji was an uncontested dictator of the group activities. she was a keralian christian girl with big and naughty eyes, smiling face and sharp brain. she used to speak many a times in riddles that no one could ever understand (even today, if you wish to cross check my statement, just open up her facebook wall and look at her posts - half of them probably she might not be understanding herself!). still, to our gross irritation, she and jasmine would giggle and would say some words secretly in each other's ears, after such riddles!  she was very out spoken and liked to be at the center of the attention.she was a very confident girl assured of all her qualities. but strangely enough, though she appeared adult, sometimes she behaved like a child. the bottom line for her was - she liked to be liked !
jasmine, looked more like a shadow to beji, had a little desire to get noticed. it was her nature to study study and study. though she had thick glasses, i could notice, her eyes were full of tender innocence.she loved beji as much as she would endorse almost everything said by beji and would do everything to please beji. she was so much influenced by beji, she used to forget even her own independent identity in beji's presence.
to me, their friendship was something that made me feel valued for myself and added some answer to quest of my own recognition.
some times, beji and jasmine had weird ideas. like, on my very first birthday after my entry to psmc, they suddenly appeared on the gate of boys' hostel. it was hot evening time of the august. until now,all my birthdays were celebrated at my home. this was my first birthday away from my home. the whole day had passed like a routine one. how could i imagine, something would happen of such a kind, i would remember the day for the life!
" hello neh! let us go for party!" exclaimed beji and asked us to come for a surprise party. there was a colorful gift packet in her hand. i wondered what was there in! was it really for me?
we were summoned to our lecture hall's terrace. i tapasvi and hemant  climbed exhausting stairs to reach to our beautiful terrace. it was so high, you could feel like to be on a small mountain. since ours was a rural college, once you climb up, the eyes could feast on trees and farms all around, till the skies met the horizon.as the terrace was on the lecture hall there was natural almost forty five degree slope in half of the terrace making it a leisurely place. you could throw your body loose on the slope and enjoy the sun set. our psmc was a college with many couples and lovers - no doubt the terrace had many stories to tell and was full of hidden secrets!
jasmine, beji and anu were waiting for us.the sun was about to set.the air was clean and the terrace was glowing golden with setting sun's light. we all sat in one of the corner of the terrace and a candle was lit urgently.
Until now, i really hated the English way of celebrating the birth days. back at home, i used to celebrate the day with my friends without any kind of candle blowing or singing happy birth day. no friend was allowed to gift me. it was rule to give all something to eat but never a cake or a pastry. i used to ridicule my other friends which celebrated birth day in so called English way.
here, on the same occasion, things were up side down! everything was prepared beforehand. even, they bought some gifts for me. what gifts? they had a small packet nicely covered with a shining decorative paper.
'Hey neh, cone on! what are you waiting for? " looking at my hesitant expression, beji said. i was confused and was thinking if i could deny such a ceremony. but looking at the enthusiasm, it would have been too harsh behavior from me. i did not say anything and simply obeyed the order.
as soon as i blew the candle, all my friends sung "happy birthday"- the song i hated till date. before i could think more, the colorful box was put in my hand.  they asked me to open. to my surprise, there was a kite shaped water push button game of rings and there was a balloon attached with a noise making hollow wood stick.i was stunned.
"what is this?" i said in puzzled voice. what did they think of me? a child of 3yr ? a mentally challenged baby? i really could not understand how to react to it. i accepted it with a bit hesitation.
" cant you see boy?"within seconds, beji snatched my game and showed me how to play, as if i was the most dumb lad available around! she also blew air in the balloon with all her lung capacity and showed me how to blow in the hollow stick to make noise from the gifted balloon!
" so, you can play like this! " said beji tagging the line with her big smile. tapasvi laughed.
think of a situation when you are trying to behave more like a man but pushed by your girl friends to behave like a kid. any way, i had no option but to accept the gifts. i could have said no, but that could have hurt their feelings. i felt, the love and care shown  for me was far more important to respect than to stick to my beliefs and principles. probably that was not the time to have discussion on such a serious topic.
they had brought pastries and something more to eat. every one was happy. i was too! the evening was made special by making each of my friend sing for me something.
i remember, though i never played, i had kept those gifts carefully till recently with utmost care. it was a symbol of love and care showered on me by my new friends of the college. the quest of recognition started taking some shape.

CH 32 : MBBS OR 12TH PASS?

well, the strike was over and i soon joined my routine at psmc. since the time of the admission, i was very well aware of the un recognized status of the mbbs  degree of our college. however,.i and my parents were sure that the college would get recognition by the medical council of india. simlpy because we trusted name of hon. shree h. m. patel, once right hand of sardar patel. more over, there was no other option for me. i had to study at psmc if  i wanted my dream of becoming a doctor to come true. it was last chance for me.

however, many of my friends took the admission with sheer ignorance. like, as for example, my good friend jasmine mehta, opted for psmc leaving all big and recognized medical colleges of gujarat only because her home was just nearby at vallabh vidya nagar. she stood 1st in merit in whole of the anand district and was eligible for admission at any medical college! but unfortunately [and fortunately for me!] her parents never knew what the animal known as MCI looked like!

there were many such students which chose psmc only because of proximity of their home. most of such students were from ahmedabad and vadodara..

it was natural for all the students to feel depressed on the issue of recognition. so, though full of college life, fun and of course studies, our campus at that time had a kind of hidden depression. because, some where deeper in minds of the students the feeling of being un recognized reeled. even in happy moments of any group some one would unknowingly hint at the problem and the moments soon would perish in air.
once, when we were having some happy time, some one spoke of recognition. the discussion was going on at nursing hostel probably at bimal chhaya's room. ketan shah, popularly known as ketan dada, told some stirring technical facts.
" you know, we were knowing this since admission." he said " since we were paying full donation, we know all the technical aspects." all others become silent and his voice grew more serious
" presently, if you pass out even with flying colors, with your mbbs degree from psmc, you are not more than 12th pass student of the state." his statement stunned us." let me tell you no one from us would be able to claim any government job."
"so what hell will we do with such a degree?"
" just think over. we are hoping to get recognition of our mbbs course by medical council of india. till then, we are 12th pass!"
" and what does it mean when they say our course is recognised by the sardar patel university? i know our course is recognised by the university" said some one trying to console the group.
" it means nothing. i mean, you will be recognised graduates of the university but remember no one can practice medicine without recognition from the MCI."
"and why the hell this MCI is not recognizing our college?"
" you see, i tell you the process" ketan dada was son of a very well known surgeon from rajkot. his father and mother were in the profession since years. "any college when demands recognition from the MCI, it invites the inspectors from MCI to show the facilities provided to teach the future doctors. the inspectors would come and tell what still is remaining to comply with the minimum standards. the college would be recognized only when all standards are met."

" and this would be done finally only when our first batch passes out." added vimal hemani, my good friend.
"suppose if the recognition does not come by the time the first batch passes out. what will happen to that batch? "
" that batch would remain 12 th pass!"
" you mean for their life time?"
" no no. it means they would remain 12th pass till our college gets recognition. they would be recognized as doctors retrospectively as a rule." said vimal.
there was silence in the room. all we could to was just to hope for the best.
" presently, the president of MCI is dr ketan desai, our doctor from gujarat university." some one added his knowledge.

so, soon after period of elation of getting in an mbbs course,  this was a shock every one suffered who entered PSMC !

" and what about the post graduation?" a very relevant question.
" but first, tell me, do you really think we would be able to pass this mbbs?" ketan dada's comment made every one laugh. "any way, as of now, our college does not have any post graduate course. and neither we would be eligible for other university's PG course till the MCI recognizes our mbbs first."
"damn! we are trapped "

for me, at that time, just to be a doctor was the goal and post graduation meant nothing. i wanted to be a doctor and that would be served even if i was only an mbbs doctor. but to remain only 12 pass after five and half years blood sucking course? leave me, any one would commit suicide !

thus the waves of depression remained under current. the discussion was not limited to our campus. it gradually came to be a social stigmata. the people around us when asked about our study, we proudly would tell them about our gorgeous medical college. after listening everything, they would say  " okay, so, PSMC ! is that your college? that unrecognized one no?"  and would add " so what are your plans with such a degree?"
we frankly had no answer to such life questions except to keep mum and feel depressed. some one would feel pity on us while some one would say some words of hope. some times even parents of my friends got frustrated because of such discussions around them.
once, out of such frustration, we went to meet dr haridas,  hardly knowing his technical position. he was the head of the department of biochemistry. he was living in a bungalow near the main entrance of the college. he greeted us with a big smile.
"come...welcome..."
" sir what will happen to our recognition?"  we asked in panic.
" i hope soon it would be resolved" said he with wishful thinking. "all are trying their best. we hope to clear the inspection next time." our tender and innocent minds listened to him as if  we were listening to the head of the MCI assuring us!
" and sir, what about our post graduation? our college does not have such courses."
" in that case, government may ask the other colleges to keep five five seats for our students in each  of the medical colleges."
"wow! can this really happen?" sir showed us our day dream.
"may be.. let us hope so.."
though, sir, out of sympathy, showed us a day dream, we all believed in him and went away to our hostel room  and slept nicely that night! the reality was far away from what he said and we were not knowing what challenges we would face in future.

our batch was probably were fourth in a row since the admissions started at the PSMC. the first batch was soon to go for the exams and we were waiting eagerly to see what happened to them.one day, some one said the team of inspectors from the MCI was to come to inspect our college. they were to ascertain the facilities at the college. their duty was to make our education a quality education by forcing the college authorities to provide minimum needed facilities.

the atmosphere of the campus became charged with buzz of issue of recognition. what facilities did our college have at that time? briefly, the college building was already like a new bride. the hospital was functioning since a few years more than the year of start of the college. our college had a vast campus, big and well designed building for running not only all the needed departments but also a good library and indoor sports facilities for the students. ( not mentioning dark corners and open huge terraces essential for lovers and official couples!).

our library was studded with big big cupboards stuffed with thick and horrible medical books. the journal section was rich with probably all possible uninteresting books subscribed from world over.
. we had a huge play ground surrounded by eucalypti trees on one side and mango trees on the other.same way, we had rainbow of teachers in each of the departments starting from head to tails. the labs had adequate equipment and experts of the subjects. all the teachers of the 1st mbbs were full timers. looking at all these, we felt, how any inspector could deny us recognition? what was lacking then?

even if being students of first mbbs, we used to go to the hospital sometimes just out of curiosity. our shri krishna hospital was a big hospital with all the major departments functioning with full time staff. the hospital had different wards. but that is where we saw the problem.since ours was a rural medical college away from any populated city, the patient turn over of our hospital was low. we used to see hardly a few patients admitted  in wards.to be a good doctor, a medical student ought to be exposed to large number of patients.

when the dates approached, the college authorities started organizing health check up camps in near by villages and poured indoor patients in our hollow empty hospital wards to make up the needed number of patients ! we saw buses coming in our campus bringing people for admissions. god only could say how many of them were real patients! our wards looked like hospital wards first time ever since we joined.

i do not remember seeing the most wanted and still probably most disliked inspectors from the MCI but i do remember how depressed we felt when the news of denial of recognition arrived in the campus after few days of interval after the inspection.

there were different versions to explain. some people said, since h.m. patel was an honest man, he refused any favor to the inspectors and their bosses. some one said, dr ketan desai, the president of the MCI,  had some personal account to be settled with one of our senior professor. there were so many theories.hardly a few believed our college really lacked the facilities.

this was just start of the torture. we had to face the inspection by the MCI almost every year. plight of a student working hard in such an unrecognized institute can be understood only by his or her fellow students.

CH 31: MY ARTS COLLEGE

It has been now 22 yrs since I joined pramukhswami medical college. I do not remember why but there came a period of strike just after a few months of joining the college. It was the time when all of us just were getting familiar with each other and strengthening our new friendships.

As soon as the strike announced, all the students, freshly sick about their homes, departed immediately. I also left for bhuj. i promised my new friends tapasvi, hemant, biren, jasmine shah and others to keep in touch by letters. That time the world was devoid of any kind of mobiles! So forget about sms!

When I arrived back in my beautiful home town bhuj, apart from roaming around leisurely with friends, I had nothing to do. i already was awerse to reading medical books. There are only a few rare occasions in life when you wish to do something just to kill the time. It was such a time for me.

Three decades back, bhuj had only one arts cum science college and one commerce college. Both were and are on the same road and so the road is rightly known as the college road in bhuj.

The r. r. lalan college was one of the oldest and as old as my parents graduated from that college. Those of my 12th std friends opted to do B.sc. had to go to lalan college. Just to kill time and have some college fun, I joined my school friends suresh, yogesh and started attending the lectures at lalan college.

The college was a few kilometers away from the main city. I never had any vehicle and I used to enjoy riding my grandfather’s tall bicycle to join my friends in their college. The college campus was vast. After entering the campus, one had to go a kilometer or so to reach the red college building.the college was big but it was in many ways different than my college. it was big, but ill maintained. the corners were studded with waste papers, used ball pens etc.

while there were limited students in my college, i saw big herds of students in lalan college near every lecture all and corridors. in my college, boys and girls were seen freely interacting with each other. here, the groups of boys and girls were mostly seen non interacting. probably there was no social approval of good friendship between boys and girls. my friends told me most of such friendships were haunted by gossips.

the class rooms were big enough to accomodate about 100 students. but students were probably far more and each class was grossly over crowded. i remember a few lectures i attended. one day i went to a sanskrit class. the lady lecturer was a new one. she was to teach famous story by kalidas 'abhigyan shakuntalam'. it is a love story.

the class was full of students. all were talking to each other and there was big noice. some students were standing and some were still coming in while a few were going out. the big windows were good enogh to bring fresh oxygen for all of us and were also giving panoramic view of the beautiful campus outside. however, windows mainly were used to interact with friends peeping in from out side. entry of the lecturer hardly made any difference to the activities going on in the class ! the roll call was done and taking advantage of the chaos, many said "yes madam" on behalf of their friends wandering somewhere else! the crowd was such that it was imposiible for the lecturer to confirm.

the lecturer had some notes with her and she started speaking something from it. some good boys shouted "stop noice stop noice "to help the novice teacher. the noice lessened but coming in going out and peeping from windows continued. the lecturer was heard till a few feets.i was within that range.as she taught further a sanskrit word "paurush" was repeated again and again. succumbing to my nature, i stood up and asked "madam what is the meaning of paurush could you please explain for me?"

my question was totally un expected for her.it struck to her from out of blue.i was confident that it would be impossible for her to recognise me as an outside student. she was silent for a few moments letting the noice and chaos in class to increase. then she said paurush was a king and it also means a man. the answere not only dis satisfyied me but also the class. i really was astonised to find a lecturer in sanskrit unable to explain word paurush.

Not all class were same. husband of my 12th std chamistry teacher jyotiben, dr. trivedi was a prof of psychology and i attended his class after taking his due permission. that class was totally different and just like was any of class in my college. students sat with pin drop silence and greeted the prof by standing up as he came in.

" dear students, " said sir " before going for today's topic, let me tell you there is one guest student in our class, " he pointed at me "nehal  is a student of mbbs but out ou curiosity of the subject he has joined you friends today. i welcome him.."  i thanked sir by bowing by head to him. it feels very strange when all of the class suddenly starts staring at you. i took some time to settle my heartbeats ! sir's lecture was fine and like a learned artist playing his favorite instrument.

the experience in the lalan college thus was mixed. however, i also went to commerce college with my friends wich was couple of kilometers away from the lalan college. the atmosphere there was almost same.at commerce college, i had luxury to attend lecture of lecture of our respected professor dr vakhat sinh jadeja. he was teaching english to college students. and to my surprise, he had to teach from very basics as if he was teaching primary school children! i remember asking him a question in the class and he was so happy to answere it!

whenever i see any college, i always wonder wether the courses provided in such institutes have any meaning for leading a productive life. wether it confers even basic knowledge of living life, leave the honesty and mirality away. arts commerce and even science colleges add nothing to life except degrees.they eat away important years of our young generation. i feel all the courses should have either meaning in life or some kind of vocation. i feel no thrill to learn kalidasa when i know  that no one outside is going to offer me even a clerk's job even if i recite whole of the abhigyaan shakuntalam! i definately would enjoy learning it if it means getting creative writer's job in a news paper or something. 

meanwhile, the strike was to get over in my college. i had written quite a lot letters to my new friends and they also had replied to my pleasure. i still have copies some of those letters !